Finally, the Stank is gone! There's not much more to say, other than: thank the lord it wasn't Haley.
We're getting down to clutch time, so it's harder to predict what's going to happen-- but this much is true: the handy Bottom 3 theory really works! All the way back in Top 11 week results show, I had predicted Scotty, Lauren, James and Jacob (swap out Pia for Haley) would be in the Top 5, based on Bottom 3 showings. And that's how it worked out! And Scotty/James (and maybe even Lauren, despite the late Bottom 2 showing) are still on lock to win-- something I've been predicting since the Top 11 as well.
Also, looking at the list, Pia was the only contestant eliminated so far on her very first Bottom 3 showing-- everyone else appeared at least once before actually getting cut.
So for all you non-beleivers, pay attention for season 11: appearing in the Bottom 3 is the kiss of death (in terms of #winning)
Top 4 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) James Durbin
3.) Lauren Alaina (Bottom 2: Final 5)
4.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8, 7)
5.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9, 7, 5)
6.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11, 6)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8, 7)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
Here's hoping that Jacob's soul-loving voters will all transfer to Haley (and not rocker James or country Lauren/Scotty). I think Haley has a really decent shot at Top 3, but probably not much more... especially if Lauren translates this near-ouster into a genuine moment next week.
We're almost there (and by there, I mean seeing Pia sing again at the finale)!
Z
Friday, May 6, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Final 5 Performances
I hold one solemn fist in the air, as a show of solidarity to Haley motherf**king Reinhart.
I may have strayed far off the Idol path since Pia's ouster, but like I said, all it takes is one gripping performance to bring me back. And just when I thought none of this year's Top 5 could accomplish such a feat, they all proved me wrong (well, all right, maybe not Stank face).
Clearly someone paid attention to my rants about Idol "Moments," because this episode was jam-packed with many earnest attempts (and a couple actual successes). The judges are still ABSOLUTELY useless (my bones vibrated with rage after their so-obviously pre-scripted bash of Haley's first, rousing performance) and I've simply taken to fast-forwarding through their nonsense, even the bitch-please standing ovation (how pre-planned did that feel)?
But still, despite the Judges' tomfoolery and Jimmy's meddling, James and Haley managed to manufacture very real Idol moments--and perhaps might have even risen as genuine contenders (at least for show--the voting trends clearly discount Haley from the crown). But hey, James may just have a shot to win this thing, with Haley nabbing 4th or 3rd... here's hoping, America.
The Hot
Haley Reinhart: "You and I" & "House of the Rising Sun." There are no words, except these: I will buy every one of your albums if they sound like the songs you sang tonight, Lady Reinhart. Screw those judges and screw American tweendom, you're my American Idol!
James Durbin: "Closer to the Edge" & "Without You." While the first performance was mere cannon fodder, I am obsessed with James' emotional rendition of Without You, if only because it represents the kind of unproduced, spontaneous, raw Moment that American Idol was built upon. Sure the vocal wasn't perfect, but that only added to the power of James' delivery. This one will rank in my Best Idol Performances playlist, right along with Haley's showing (if only Cowell were still around to validate my assertions with a well-delayed quip).
The Warm
Lauren Alaina: "Flat On The Floor" & "Unchained Melody." I'm so tired of saying "almost" with Lauren-- it's just crystal clear she needs a few years to train and harness that massively amazing voice of hers. She's neither polished (like J.Sparks) nor raw (like A.Iraheta), rather falling into a nebulously mediocre middle-ground (much like most of her mid-tempo song choices). Here's hoping she gets cut soon sans record deal, takes a few years to practice her craft and makes a stunning comeback by winning The X-Voice, 2015.
Scotty McCreery: "Gone" & "Always On My Mind." Note to everyone speaking on Idol tonight: stretching oneself artistically doesn't mean compromising who you are as a singer, but rather challenging yourself to make bold choices within the confines of your genre. No one is asking Scotty to stop singing country-- we're just asking him to do something we haven't seen/heard/expected from him for a change. For example, if he had transformed N'Sync or Kelly Clarkson's same-titled "Gone" tracks into a country song, he'd have been stretching himself. It's really not rocket science, as dozens of successful Idol contestants have shown throughout 10 seasons... (then again, Randy Jackson still hasn't figured out to be of any remote use ten seasons later, so perhaps I'm expecting too much).
The Cold
Jacob Lusk: "No Air" & "Love Hurts." At last, America can see tangibly what I've been saying for weeks: Jacob's groin-grinding, stank-faced scream-singing has no relevant place in today's musical landscape. It's really a shame-- like Lauren, Jacob has an astronomical voice, but possesses no perspective on how to weild it. If Jacob doesn't get the axe tonight (despite Randy & Jennifer saying he's "one of the best/highest ever singers on that Idol stage." No. NO!), I'm going to storm the Idol production offices and demand a recount.
Predictions: With Haley rocking out the pimp slot hard, the only thing that can save Jacob from an inevitable 5th place finish at this point is a surprise Lauren/Scotty ouster (though usually those are reserved for the Final 4). Considering both country teens seem to have rock-solid voting bases and Jacob was a hot mess tonight, I'd say Jacob will FINALLY bite the dust. Can I get an Amen?
And with my fist still in the air, I bid you adieu, kiddies.
Z
I may have strayed far off the Idol path since Pia's ouster, but like I said, all it takes is one gripping performance to bring me back. And just when I thought none of this year's Top 5 could accomplish such a feat, they all proved me wrong (well, all right, maybe not Stank face).
Clearly someone paid attention to my rants about Idol "Moments," because this episode was jam-packed with many earnest attempts (and a couple actual successes). The judges are still ABSOLUTELY useless (my bones vibrated with rage after their so-obviously pre-scripted bash of Haley's first, rousing performance) and I've simply taken to fast-forwarding through their nonsense, even the bitch-please standing ovation (how pre-planned did that feel)?
But still, despite the Judges' tomfoolery and Jimmy's meddling, James and Haley managed to manufacture very real Idol moments--and perhaps might have even risen as genuine contenders (at least for show--the voting trends clearly discount Haley from the crown). But hey, James may just have a shot to win this thing, with Haley nabbing 4th or 3rd... here's hoping, America.
The Hot
Haley Reinhart: "You and I" & "House of the Rising Sun." There are no words, except these: I will buy every one of your albums if they sound like the songs you sang tonight, Lady Reinhart. Screw those judges and screw American tweendom, you're my American Idol!
James Durbin: "Closer to the Edge" & "Without You." While the first performance was mere cannon fodder, I am obsessed with James' emotional rendition of Without You, if only because it represents the kind of unproduced, spontaneous, raw Moment that American Idol was built upon. Sure the vocal wasn't perfect, but that only added to the power of James' delivery. This one will rank in my Best Idol Performances playlist, right along with Haley's showing (if only Cowell were still around to validate my assertions with a well-delayed quip).
The Warm
Lauren Alaina: "Flat On The Floor" & "Unchained Melody." I'm so tired of saying "almost" with Lauren-- it's just crystal clear she needs a few years to train and harness that massively amazing voice of hers. She's neither polished (like J.Sparks) nor raw (like A.Iraheta), rather falling into a nebulously mediocre middle-ground (much like most of her mid-tempo song choices). Here's hoping she gets cut soon sans record deal, takes a few years to practice her craft and makes a stunning comeback by winning The X-Voice, 2015.
Scotty McCreery: "Gone" & "Always On My Mind." Note to everyone speaking on Idol tonight: stretching oneself artistically doesn't mean compromising who you are as a singer, but rather challenging yourself to make bold choices within the confines of your genre. No one is asking Scotty to stop singing country-- we're just asking him to do something we haven't seen/heard/expected from him for a change. For example, if he had transformed N'Sync or Kelly Clarkson's same-titled "Gone" tracks into a country song, he'd have been stretching himself. It's really not rocket science, as dozens of successful Idol contestants have shown throughout 10 seasons... (then again, Randy Jackson still hasn't figured out to be of any remote use ten seasons later, so perhaps I'm expecting too much).
The Cold
Jacob Lusk: "No Air" & "Love Hurts." At last, America can see tangibly what I've been saying for weeks: Jacob's groin-grinding, stank-faced scream-singing has no relevant place in today's musical landscape. It's really a shame-- like Lauren, Jacob has an astronomical voice, but possesses no perspective on how to weild it. If Jacob doesn't get the axe tonight (despite Randy & Jennifer saying he's "one of the best/highest ever singers on that Idol stage." No. NO!), I'm going to storm the Idol production offices and demand a recount.
Predictions: With Haley rocking out the pimp slot hard, the only thing that can save Jacob from an inevitable 5th place finish at this point is a surprise Lauren/Scotty ouster (though usually those are reserved for the Final 4). Considering both country teens seem to have rock-solid voting bases and Jacob was a hot mess tonight, I'd say Jacob will FINALLY bite the dust. Can I get an Amen?
And with my fist still in the air, I bid you adieu, kiddies.
Z
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Final 6 Love Lost
I'm sorry for not posting my thoughts last night kiddies, but I'm going to be straight up with you-- I'm going through a bad breakup.
It's rough, it's brutal-- but me and American Idol Season 10, we're through.
And no, it has nothing to do with Casey's ouster (he should never have gotten the save in the first place, in my opinion)-- it's not even really about Pia's ouster (OK, maybe it is, a little). It's about the fact that last night, as I was watching, for the first time ever I had to force myself not to hit the fast forward button. All of the ticks and quirks about Idol that I usually find endearing became utterly unbearable (much like a real breakup, hmm?). And really, tonight's "let's not reveal the bottom 3 and make you think Scotty is in jeopardy" ploy was the straw that broke this camel's back.
Worst of all, as I sit down to write about the dreary show, I find that I have very little to say. Nothing moved me, good or bad, to comment. And that's a surefire sign that the love is gone, no?
It may be too early, but I do think I've found someone else. Sure, I have to wait to the live rounds until I announce we're going steady, but I have a serious crush on The Voice. And hey, if that doesn't work out, there's plenty of other X-Factors in the sea, aren't there?
Top 5 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) Lauren Alaina
3.) James Durbin
5.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8, 7)
6.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9, 7)
6.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8, 7)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
I will report back when a performance actually moves me to something other than indifference-- and trust me when I say, I think there's a Z Voice blog coming your way sometime soon...
Waiting Patiently,
Z
It's rough, it's brutal-- but me and American Idol Season 10, we're through.
And no, it has nothing to do with Casey's ouster (he should never have gotten the save in the first place, in my opinion)-- it's not even really about Pia's ouster (OK, maybe it is, a little). It's about the fact that last night, as I was watching, for the first time ever I had to force myself not to hit the fast forward button. All of the ticks and quirks about Idol that I usually find endearing became utterly unbearable (much like a real breakup, hmm?). And really, tonight's "let's not reveal the bottom 3 and make you think Scotty is in jeopardy" ploy was the straw that broke this camel's back.
Worst of all, as I sit down to write about the dreary show, I find that I have very little to say. Nothing moved me, good or bad, to comment. And that's a surefire sign that the love is gone, no?
It may be too early, but I do think I've found someone else. Sure, I have to wait to the live rounds until I announce we're going steady, but I have a serious crush on The Voice. And hey, if that doesn't work out, there's plenty of other X-Factors in the sea, aren't there?
Top 5 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) Lauren Alaina
3.) James Durbin
5.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8, 7)
6.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9, 7)
6.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8, 7)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
I will report back when a performance actually moves me to something other than indifference-- and trust me when I say, I think there's a Z Voice blog coming your way sometime soon...
Waiting Patiently,
Z
Monday, April 25, 2011
Five Reasons Idol Has Floundered
It was mere weeks ago that I (and many other Idol pundits) were heralding the triumphant return of American Idol. In fact, during Final 11 week, I even went so far as to write the following:
"After a teetering dark period filled with lost judges, predictably mundane filler and Michael-Lynche-level talent (remember him? Don't bother), American Idol is back-- and with a bang, baby. We've got 11 wildly different (and equally interesting) contestants, renewed energy behind the judges panel and some serious mentoring (someone (aka Jimmy) has been reading the fan blogs this time around, huh?). Season 10 of Idol has not for one second let us forget that they are searching for a superstar, and for the first time in a while, I think they're really going to produce one (if not more)."
Now, one month later, I'm singing a very different tune (and I'm most assuredly not alone). All the air seems to have been let out of the tires of the great American Idol tank, and all I'm left to wonder is: why?
I've given it quite a bit of thought and have compiled the following list of reasons why American Idol Season 10 is currently floundering (and perhaps may be beyond repair...)
5.) The Risk-to-Elimination Ratio: Something is wonky with the American Idol voting public, as evidenced by the string of all-female eliminations for the first 5 weeks (damn you landlocked tweenage girls). But no elimination has been more henious (and damaging) than Pia Toscano's ouster, which was the linchpin turning point this season, for two reasons: Pia's polished presence genuinely raised the collective talent bar of the contestants, and in the post-Pia era, everyone seems vaguely more amateur. Secondly, the switchup in Pia's performance style that got her booted (going uptempo) signals a dreadful Idol trend: that contestants who take risks (like Naima and Stefano did) get the boot. The result? Expected song-choices that craft a contestant's musical persona and advance them safely week-to-week, but do not infuse them with starpower.
4.) Great (Unmet) Expectations: Going into the Top 13, we all had very high hopes for this particular band of contestants, all of which have been systematically dashed. Pia was going to bring diva-pop back and all the way to at least the Top 4 (nope, booted Top 9). Stefano was going to wow us all with his emotional conviction, strong voice and potential superstar wattage (nope, he flailed along awkwardly, never recreating the magic of his Wildcard moment fully). Casey was going to be a refreshing breath of jazzy air, marching to the beat of his own humble & unique bass (nope, he resorted to indulgent growly face antics). Lauren was going to be the second coming of Kelly Sparks-Underwood (nope, she hasn't proven yet she understands how to weild her wickidly-amazing voice). Paul was going to woo us with soft, acoustic, emotionally earnest artistry (nope, he pranced around the stage like a laughing-gas-stricken chicken). Jacob was going to learn to restrain his ridiculously rare voice and channel some earnest emoiton (nope, we got straight Lusky Stank). Scotty was going to mature into a genuine country powerhouse (nope, he's done nothing but flip on the country cruise-control).
Practically no one has delivered what was promised early on (aside from James and Haley, who really didn't have many expectations placed on them early on anyway). But seriously, what has happened to all this potential?
3.) Lame Duck Judges: I do enjoy the more unabashadly positive, dream-making focus of Season 10, but not when it's forced down my throat. The viewing public can tell when performances don't go well, no matter how hard the judges try to convince us otherwise. Earlier in the season we were all-aboard the positivity-train, especially when JLo included some astute constructive criticism for a change. But since then, we've got nothing but blanket-complements--and it's getting really, really stale. The lack of reality-checking from the judges has forced us all to focus on the more gimmicky, reality-schtick sides of Idol and has not helped the audience differentiate the good from the bad.
2.) Jimmy Iovine's Artisty-Crushing Band of Producers: Sure, Jimmy does have many astute and constructive insights to offer the contestants, not to mention the fact he's introducing the hopefuls to many A-List producers. But the tradeoff has been overly-produced, single-centric song choices that don't always translate well to the Idol stage (nor do they really create relevant music-- these Idol recordings sound really chinsy anyway)! And I'm sure the contestants are petrified to speak up and do what their instincts tell them (with some welcome, notable exceptions-- Casey & James!). American Idol isn't about having industry professionals craft packaged singers, it's about letting natural talent bloom organically into radio-worthy artists. Can I get an Amen?
So what does all of this add up to? The #1 Reason why American Idol is floundering:
1.) A Complete Lack of Idol "Moments": Even the notoriously underwhelming Season 9 snoozefest was able to cook up some genuine Idol Moments (courtesy of Siobhan Magnus' "Paint It Black," Casey James' "Jealous Guy" and "Don't," and many Cystal Bowersox/Lee DeWyze showings). But the only genuine Idol Moments we've had during Season 10 have all happened in the Top 24 round (Pia Toscano's "I'll Stand By You," and most of the Wildcard performances). Since then, most performances have fallen solidly in the middle: neither spectacularly bad nor good. Is it any coincidence this is when the contestants have fallen more heavily into the clutches of Jimmy Iovine, the Idol producers and the tepid Judges?
I beleive all the reasons above have attributed to the lack of genuine Idol Moments, which in fact, aren't all that difficult to analyze. All Idol moments include an unexpected/unconventional song choice, an interesting (and mostly unplugged) arrangment, a sincere emotional message and a well-timed/rarely executed judging swell.
But this season, contestants have chosen very expected/safe songs (and why shouldn't they? If they don't, they're labeled unfocused artists and their chances of getting the boot skyrocket). They also have very little freedom to arrange a song, because what amateur wants to piss off a "seasoned" producer professional? This season's contestants (with some notable/eliminated expceptions) can't seem to embody these limited/over-produced songs emotionally. And with the judges offering blanket positivity (and only criticism when someone performs at a higher level), the audience has trouble discerning potentially Moment-worthy performances (Pia's "All In Love Is Fair," James' "Maybe I'm Amazed," Lauren's "Candle In The Wind," Haley's "Bennie & The Jets"). You can bet your bottom dollar that if Simon Cowell were around, these performances would sit squarely on our "Best Idol Performance" lists, thanks to his trademark pause-then-praise.
With so little time left in the season, I'm not sure that Idol will be able to self-correct (though I'm placing all of my hope in the predestined Scotty-Lauren boat, because they're both the closest to breaking through the current Idol mediocrity-barrier).
So what do you think? Are there any reasons I missed? Or are you seriously loving this season and thinking I deserve to eat some bitter-betty humble pie?
Let me know, because this Idol fan feels at a serious loss!
Z
"After a teetering dark period filled with lost judges, predictably mundane filler and Michael-Lynche-level talent (remember him? Don't bother), American Idol is back-- and with a bang, baby. We've got 11 wildly different (and equally interesting) contestants, renewed energy behind the judges panel and some serious mentoring (someone (aka Jimmy) has been reading the fan blogs this time around, huh?). Season 10 of Idol has not for one second let us forget that they are searching for a superstar, and for the first time in a while, I think they're really going to produce one (if not more)."
Now, one month later, I'm singing a very different tune (and I'm most assuredly not alone). All the air seems to have been let out of the tires of the great American Idol tank, and all I'm left to wonder is: why?
I've given it quite a bit of thought and have compiled the following list of reasons why American Idol Season 10 is currently floundering (and perhaps may be beyond repair...)
5.) The Risk-to-Elimination Ratio: Something is wonky with the American Idol voting public, as evidenced by the string of all-female eliminations for the first 5 weeks (damn you landlocked tweenage girls). But no elimination has been more henious (and damaging) than Pia Toscano's ouster, which was the linchpin turning point this season, for two reasons: Pia's polished presence genuinely raised the collective talent bar of the contestants, and in the post-Pia era, everyone seems vaguely more amateur. Secondly, the switchup in Pia's performance style that got her booted (going uptempo) signals a dreadful Idol trend: that contestants who take risks (like Naima and Stefano did) get the boot. The result? Expected song-choices that craft a contestant's musical persona and advance them safely week-to-week, but do not infuse them with starpower.
4.) Great (Unmet) Expectations: Going into the Top 13, we all had very high hopes for this particular band of contestants, all of which have been systematically dashed. Pia was going to bring diva-pop back and all the way to at least the Top 4 (nope, booted Top 9). Stefano was going to wow us all with his emotional conviction, strong voice and potential superstar wattage (nope, he flailed along awkwardly, never recreating the magic of his Wildcard moment fully). Casey was going to be a refreshing breath of jazzy air, marching to the beat of his own humble & unique bass (nope, he resorted to indulgent growly face antics). Lauren was going to be the second coming of Kelly Sparks-Underwood (nope, she hasn't proven yet she understands how to weild her wickidly-amazing voice). Paul was going to woo us with soft, acoustic, emotionally earnest artistry (nope, he pranced around the stage like a laughing-gas-stricken chicken). Jacob was going to learn to restrain his ridiculously rare voice and channel some earnest emoiton (nope, we got straight Lusky Stank). Scotty was going to mature into a genuine country powerhouse (nope, he's done nothing but flip on the country cruise-control).
Practically no one has delivered what was promised early on (aside from James and Haley, who really didn't have many expectations placed on them early on anyway). But seriously, what has happened to all this potential?
3.) Lame Duck Judges: I do enjoy the more unabashadly positive, dream-making focus of Season 10, but not when it's forced down my throat. The viewing public can tell when performances don't go well, no matter how hard the judges try to convince us otherwise. Earlier in the season we were all-aboard the positivity-train, especially when JLo included some astute constructive criticism for a change. But since then, we've got nothing but blanket-complements--and it's getting really, really stale. The lack of reality-checking from the judges has forced us all to focus on the more gimmicky, reality-schtick sides of Idol and has not helped the audience differentiate the good from the bad.
2.) Jimmy Iovine's Artisty-Crushing Band of Producers: Sure, Jimmy does have many astute and constructive insights to offer the contestants, not to mention the fact he's introducing the hopefuls to many A-List producers. But the tradeoff has been overly-produced, single-centric song choices that don't always translate well to the Idol stage (nor do they really create relevant music-- these Idol recordings sound really chinsy anyway)! And I'm sure the contestants are petrified to speak up and do what their instincts tell them (with some welcome, notable exceptions-- Casey & James!). American Idol isn't about having industry professionals craft packaged singers, it's about letting natural talent bloom organically into radio-worthy artists. Can I get an Amen?
So what does all of this add up to? The #1 Reason why American Idol is floundering:
1.) A Complete Lack of Idol "Moments": Even the notoriously underwhelming Season 9 snoozefest was able to cook up some genuine Idol Moments (courtesy of Siobhan Magnus' "Paint It Black," Casey James' "Jealous Guy" and "Don't," and many Cystal Bowersox/Lee DeWyze showings). But the only genuine Idol Moments we've had during Season 10 have all happened in the Top 24 round (Pia Toscano's "I'll Stand By You," and most of the Wildcard performances). Since then, most performances have fallen solidly in the middle: neither spectacularly bad nor good. Is it any coincidence this is when the contestants have fallen more heavily into the clutches of Jimmy Iovine, the Idol producers and the tepid Judges?
I beleive all the reasons above have attributed to the lack of genuine Idol Moments, which in fact, aren't all that difficult to analyze. All Idol moments include an unexpected/unconventional song choice, an interesting (and mostly unplugged) arrangment, a sincere emotional message and a well-timed/rarely executed judging swell.
But this season, contestants have chosen very expected/safe songs (and why shouldn't they? If they don't, they're labeled unfocused artists and their chances of getting the boot skyrocket). They also have very little freedom to arrange a song, because what amateur wants to piss off a "seasoned" producer professional? This season's contestants (with some notable/eliminated expceptions) can't seem to embody these limited/over-produced songs emotionally. And with the judges offering blanket positivity (and only criticism when someone performs at a higher level), the audience has trouble discerning potentially Moment-worthy performances (Pia's "All In Love Is Fair," James' "Maybe I'm Amazed," Lauren's "Candle In The Wind," Haley's "Bennie & The Jets"). You can bet your bottom dollar that if Simon Cowell were around, these performances would sit squarely on our "Best Idol Performance" lists, thanks to his trademark pause-then-praise.
With so little time left in the season, I'm not sure that Idol will be able to self-correct (though I'm placing all of my hope in the predestined Scotty-Lauren boat, because they're both the closest to breaking through the current Idol mediocrity-barrier).
So what do you think? Are there any reasons I missed? Or are you seriously loving this season and thinking I deserve to eat some bitter-betty humble pie?
Let me know, because this Idol fan feels at a serious loss!
Z
Friday, April 22, 2011
Final 7 Results
Tonight's Idol showing raised several questions, to which I will provide hashtag answers:
Why has America condoned Casey's bad behavior?
#WeNeedAnotherJackBlack (#No)
Why does James insist on going sleeveless constantly?
#SkewedSelfPerception
Why hasn't David Cook hired some of Clarkson/Underwood's songwriters?
#JankTunes
Why did David Cook's mild showing still out-sing/out-charm most of Season 10's contestants?
#BecauseHeRocks
Why does Katy Perry think she can contend with Lady Gaga and/or Robyn?
#BitchCan't
Who keeps voting for the Lusky Stank?
#TheDeaf
Now really, can anyone argue with the Bottom 3 Golden Rule?
#Behold:
Top 6 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) Lauren Alaina
3.) James Durbin
4.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11)
5.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8, 7)
6.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9, 7)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8, 7)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
But finally, Stefano the wildcard underdog catches the axe. While I'm a bit sad to see him go (I'd so much rather have heard Stefano a few more times over our more rotund male contestants), it's clear Stefano was never going to win (nor will Haley/Jacob, at this point). The only potential upset to my Bottom 3 Golden Rule this season may be Casey Abrams-- but then again, Scotty/Lauren (and even James) keep showing that no matter how much they may falter (cough cough Scotty), their voting bases are massively strong.
I'm still trying to piece together how 3 weeks ago, I was heralding the triumphant return of American Idol without a clue as to who may win in a tightly-packed season of talent, and now I'm dreading the demise of Idol with no doubt as to who will win in a mediocrely-bland season of womp.
If one thing is proven true, it's that we Idol fans remain fickle. And we know exactly what we want...
Here's hoping we get some of it soon,
Z
Why has America condoned Casey's bad behavior?
#WeNeedAnotherJackBlack (#No)
Why does James insist on going sleeveless constantly?
#SkewedSelfPerception
Why hasn't David Cook hired some of Clarkson/Underwood's songwriters?
#JankTunes
Why did David Cook's mild showing still out-sing/out-charm most of Season 10's contestants?
#BecauseHeRocks
Why does Katy Perry think she can contend with Lady Gaga and/or Robyn?
#BitchCan't
Who keeps voting for the Lusky Stank?
#TheDeaf
Now really, can anyone argue with the Bottom 3 Golden Rule?
#Behold:
Top 6 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) Lauren Alaina
3.) James Durbin
4.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11)
5.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8, 7)
6.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9, 7)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8, 7)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
But finally, Stefano the wildcard underdog catches the axe. While I'm a bit sad to see him go (I'd so much rather have heard Stefano a few more times over our more rotund male contestants), it's clear Stefano was never going to win (nor will Haley/Jacob, at this point). The only potential upset to my Bottom 3 Golden Rule this season may be Casey Abrams-- but then again, Scotty/Lauren (and even James) keep showing that no matter how much they may falter (cough cough Scotty), their voting bases are massively strong.
I'm still trying to piece together how 3 weeks ago, I was heralding the triumphant return of American Idol without a clue as to who may win in a tightly-packed season of talent, and now I'm dreading the demise of Idol with no doubt as to who will win in a mediocrely-bland season of womp.
If one thing is proven true, it's that we Idol fans remain fickle. And we know exactly what we want...
Here's hoping we get some of it soon,
Z
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Final 7 Performances
I'm thoroughly contemplating calling my doctor for some kind of catscan, because apparently I'm having trouble perceiving reality. According to the rhetoric of Ryan Seacrest and his 3 Stooges, we're watching a batch of unparalleled talent constantly elevate their performances week after week. Each contestant is worthy of sold-out arena concerts and artistry-filled albums! Everyone is in it to win it!! And any one of them can win the crown!! (As long as they can't legally drive and sing country mu$ic).
I'm sorry, but are we watching the same show? Because as far as I'm concerned, we're entering American Idol Season 10: Train Wreck Edition, where a batch of lukewarmly talented contestants continually prove they don't possess the kind of self-awareness and/or artistic instincts necessary to wow anyone on the Idol stage (so they all resort to cheap tricks and general tomfoolery). Marching bands, creepy kisses and Tyler-cursing do not an American Idol make.
More and more, it feels like I'm watching nothing but a silly reality show, regurgitating the same stale antics week after week (after week after week). The magical spark that made American Idol something special seems to be missing--which is such a shame, because up until Pia Toscano's unceremonious ouster, Idol seemed poised for redemption. What. The. Hell. Went. Wrong?
We can at least start by pointing out the heinous opening number, where the 6 booted contestants returned to "sing." (Why?) While they all looked fantastic in their best black-clad rocker regalia (minus Paul "I can't care enough to remember my lyrics and/or sing remotely in key and/or wear something besides this tacky rose suit" McDonald), ladies sounded JANK. I mean, even Pia couldn't steer this mess into decent territory with her trademark diva notes (though Naima bopping around like a toddler on crack was rather entertaining, I must admit).
"You just made America think twice about their decision!" cooed Steven Tyler. Um, no. Just-- no.
I’m really trying not to sound completely sour grapes here, but I wouldn’t be bitching quite so much if I didn’t feel so unabashedly lied to… the Idol producers should consider governing some kind of dystopian regime in the nearby future, because lordy, the propaganda is strong with them!
The Hot
James Durbin: “Uprising.” Whatever else I could say about James’ performance (indulgent indulgent indulgent!), at least he was commanding, convincing and committed. For all of James’ ridiculous grandstanding (your visions aren’t all that original, playa pimp. See: any 80s hair band ever), he delivers consistent showmanship in a season mostly devoid of contestant confidence. And James' vocal acrobatics, if not always pleasant to listen to, are nevertheless impressive. If James could just curb that narsty little ego of his, I’d be way more inclined to like him wholeheartedly.
The Warm
Haley Reinhart: “Rolling in the Deep.” I mean, Haley’s voice is STUNNING. It’s just too damn bad she can’t ever seem to possess a song emotionally the way she can vocally. Haley kept slipping in and out of character (when she has no business playing a character in the first place, but rather earnestly feeling a song). And man, do I wish she chose Adele’s “Someone Like You” instead (that song is all kinds of gorgeous). We’re at a point in the competition where I don’t think it’s possible for Haley to pull it together the way we want her to, so let’s face it, the best we girl-lovers can hope for is another happy accident like Bennie and the Jets. Sidenote: Why the odd retro red polka dot dress, lady? And where did the Ke$ha twin backup singers come from??
Stefano Langone: “Closer.” I really just want Stefano to bust out Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor,” because that’s what he is: the little underdog-who-could probably solidified his tenuous safety yet again by employing one pair of red side-slung suspenders, one upbeat jam and a whole slew of sex appeal (I mean, let’s be real: I’d hit it). Stefano is at his best when he’s believable and, I have to say, I totally bought the flirty-Usher-Chris Brown act (just as much as I buy his more earnest balladeering style). He still can’t seem to escape the jerky/choppy phrasing, but I don’t think anyone can argue that Stefano proved his radio-readiness with this performance.
Lauren Alaina: “Born to Fly.” I really, really hope the producers have been purposefully building us up to some kind of splendorous Lauren Alaina moment, because these mediocre mid-tempo showings are just getting painful. I think everyone knows by now that Lauren’s voice is epic—so why doesn’t she? By all rights, the show-ending pimp-slot tonight should have gone to Stefano, not Lauren’s lifeless limbo. And someone needs to tell Lauren cowboy boots that cut off her ankles aren’t flattering! All in all, I feel one general emotion whilst contemplating Lauren’s massive-yet-flailing potential: Frustration.
The Cold
Casey Abrams: “Harder to Breathe.” Coming Soon to a Theater Near You, School of Rock 2: Time To Cringe. I mean, where do I even begin? I’ll give it to Casey, the opening of this performance gave me David Cook/Kris Allen high hopes. But soon all of these rearranging dreams came crashing down into a fiery pit of growling faces and forced kisses. My only consolation for this sound-mess was a vision of JLo in her dressing room post-show—you KNOW bitch could not have been pleased with that invasion of her personal space. I’d bet the farm that no one else is getting near Jenny from the Block for the rest of this season… I smell a contractual mandate coming. But I digress... wait, no I don't. Casey has made a joke out of himself and I really don't see him climbing out of the Jack Black/Taylor Hicks sized hole he's dug for himself.
Scotty McCreery: “Swingin’.” I’m utterly baffled as to why Scotty doesn’t feel any urgency to do anything other than coast with his performances. Oh, wait, I know why! Because he’s male and teenage and he sings country? Seriously, if Scotty escapes this week’s unabashedly mediocre showing unscathed, there’s no question he’s destined for Idoldom (as if there’s a doubt in anyone’s mind, anyway). In other news, sweet messenger jacket, Aiken-face!
Jacob Lusk: “Dance With My Father.” The only thing Jacob had going for him during this treacly, indulgent performance was the pause at the opening, where it appeared his emotions momentarily got the best of him. And then he had to go and put the Lusky Stank on that too by explaining it was just a sound problem. Several unpleasant/overblown notes and two unnecessary key changes later, I can officially say that I’ll be happy to never hear another preachy ballad from Jacob ever again—I can only hope America feels the same way.
I do think one thing is abundantly clear—the patented American Idol “Moment” we all know and love (and crave) has been nowhere to be found ever since one cranky Brit disappeared from the airwaves… and I’m sure now that it’s not a coincidence. X-Factor, here I come!
Predictions: I think this week’s elimination is going to be a tough one to call, but my gut is telling me Haley might be in serious trouble (Jimmy’s right, anything short of magic seems to sentence Haley to steel stool doom). But I refuse to predict her ouster and put that energy in the air, so I’m going with the next-most-likely target: Jacob Lusk. It’s simply time to go, Stank One.
Until tomorrow, hoping for the best and expecting the worst…
#IMissSeason8,
Z
I'm sorry, but are we watching the same show? Because as far as I'm concerned, we're entering American Idol Season 10: Train Wreck Edition, where a batch of lukewarmly talented contestants continually prove they don't possess the kind of self-awareness and/or artistic instincts necessary to wow anyone on the Idol stage (so they all resort to cheap tricks and general tomfoolery). Marching bands, creepy kisses and Tyler-cursing do not an American Idol make.
More and more, it feels like I'm watching nothing but a silly reality show, regurgitating the same stale antics week after week (after week after week). The magical spark that made American Idol something special seems to be missing--which is such a shame, because up until Pia Toscano's unceremonious ouster, Idol seemed poised for redemption. What. The. Hell. Went. Wrong?
We can at least start by pointing out the heinous opening number, where the 6 booted contestants returned to "sing." (Why?) While they all looked fantastic in their best black-clad rocker regalia (minus Paul "I can't care enough to remember my lyrics and/or sing remotely in key and/or wear something besides this tacky rose suit" McDonald), ladies sounded JANK. I mean, even Pia couldn't steer this mess into decent territory with her trademark diva notes (though Naima bopping around like a toddler on crack was rather entertaining, I must admit).
"You just made America think twice about their decision!" cooed Steven Tyler. Um, no. Just-- no.
I’m really trying not to sound completely sour grapes here, but I wouldn’t be bitching quite so much if I didn’t feel so unabashedly lied to… the Idol producers should consider governing some kind of dystopian regime in the nearby future, because lordy, the propaganda is strong with them!
The Hot
James Durbin: “Uprising.” Whatever else I could say about James’ performance (indulgent indulgent indulgent!), at least he was commanding, convincing and committed. For all of James’ ridiculous grandstanding (your visions aren’t all that original, playa pimp. See: any 80s hair band ever), he delivers consistent showmanship in a season mostly devoid of contestant confidence. And James' vocal acrobatics, if not always pleasant to listen to, are nevertheless impressive. If James could just curb that narsty little ego of his, I’d be way more inclined to like him wholeheartedly.
The Warm
Haley Reinhart: “Rolling in the Deep.” I mean, Haley’s voice is STUNNING. It’s just too damn bad she can’t ever seem to possess a song emotionally the way she can vocally. Haley kept slipping in and out of character (when she has no business playing a character in the first place, but rather earnestly feeling a song). And man, do I wish she chose Adele’s “Someone Like You” instead (that song is all kinds of gorgeous). We’re at a point in the competition where I don’t think it’s possible for Haley to pull it together the way we want her to, so let’s face it, the best we girl-lovers can hope for is another happy accident like Bennie and the Jets. Sidenote: Why the odd retro red polka dot dress, lady? And where did the Ke$ha twin backup singers come from??
Stefano Langone: “Closer.” I really just want Stefano to bust out Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor,” because that’s what he is: the little underdog-who-could probably solidified his tenuous safety yet again by employing one pair of red side-slung suspenders, one upbeat jam and a whole slew of sex appeal (I mean, let’s be real: I’d hit it). Stefano is at his best when he’s believable and, I have to say, I totally bought the flirty-Usher-Chris Brown act (just as much as I buy his more earnest balladeering style). He still can’t seem to escape the jerky/choppy phrasing, but I don’t think anyone can argue that Stefano proved his radio-readiness with this performance.
Lauren Alaina: “Born to Fly.” I really, really hope the producers have been purposefully building us up to some kind of splendorous Lauren Alaina moment, because these mediocre mid-tempo showings are just getting painful. I think everyone knows by now that Lauren’s voice is epic—so why doesn’t she? By all rights, the show-ending pimp-slot tonight should have gone to Stefano, not Lauren’s lifeless limbo. And someone needs to tell Lauren cowboy boots that cut off her ankles aren’t flattering! All in all, I feel one general emotion whilst contemplating Lauren’s massive-yet-flailing potential: Frustration.
The Cold
Casey Abrams: “Harder to Breathe.” Coming Soon to a Theater Near You, School of Rock 2: Time To Cringe. I mean, where do I even begin? I’ll give it to Casey, the opening of this performance gave me David Cook/Kris Allen high hopes. But soon all of these rearranging dreams came crashing down into a fiery pit of growling faces and forced kisses. My only consolation for this sound-mess was a vision of JLo in her dressing room post-show—you KNOW bitch could not have been pleased with that invasion of her personal space. I’d bet the farm that no one else is getting near Jenny from the Block for the rest of this season… I smell a contractual mandate coming. But I digress... wait, no I don't. Casey has made a joke out of himself and I really don't see him climbing out of the Jack Black/Taylor Hicks sized hole he's dug for himself.
Scotty McCreery: “Swingin’.” I’m utterly baffled as to why Scotty doesn’t feel any urgency to do anything other than coast with his performances. Oh, wait, I know why! Because he’s male and teenage and he sings country? Seriously, if Scotty escapes this week’s unabashedly mediocre showing unscathed, there’s no question he’s destined for Idoldom (as if there’s a doubt in anyone’s mind, anyway). In other news, sweet messenger jacket, Aiken-face!
Jacob Lusk: “Dance With My Father.” The only thing Jacob had going for him during this treacly, indulgent performance was the pause at the opening, where it appeared his emotions momentarily got the best of him. And then he had to go and put the Lusky Stank on that too by explaining it was just a sound problem. Several unpleasant/overblown notes and two unnecessary key changes later, I can officially say that I’ll be happy to never hear another preachy ballad from Jacob ever again—I can only hope America feels the same way.
I do think one thing is abundantly clear—the patented American Idol “Moment” we all know and love (and crave) has been nowhere to be found ever since one cranky Brit disappeared from the airwaves… and I’m sure now that it’s not a coincidence. X-Factor, here I come!
Predictions: I think this week’s elimination is going to be a tough one to call, but my gut is telling me Haley might be in serious trouble (Jimmy’s right, anything short of magic seems to sentence Haley to steel stool doom). But I refuse to predict her ouster and put that energy in the air, so I’m going with the next-most-likely target: Jacob Lusk. It’s simply time to go, Stank One.
Until tomorrow, hoping for the best and expecting the worst…
#IMissSeason8,
Z
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Final 8 Results
If we've learned one important lesson this week, it's that fools should not mess with Kelly Clarkson (vocally or otherwise). I don't know that anyone will ever live up to the original Idol--I could gush and gush about her crazy vocal range or genuinely fun stage vibe for days, but I shant (nor shall I even begin to ponder Rihanna's bozo-the-clown weave).
I shall, however, give a shoutout to Haley motherf***ing Reinhart, bringing down the jazzy house. Girl. Power.
In other news, I don't think anyone was particularly stunned by Paul's ouster-- I certainly predicted it (bringing my current prediction rate to 4/7, with all my predictors at least ending up in the Bottom 3). And now that the bragging is done, here's an updated ranking list:
Top 7 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) Lauren Alaina
3.) James Durbin
4.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11)
5.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9)
6.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
This pretty clearly demonstrate that Scotty, Lauren or James will win American Idol Season 10 (though my money's on Scotty). From here on out, Bottom 3 placement isn't really as accurate an indicator of winning potential-- though once again, I'm willing to bet that Lauren/Scotty won't ever grace the B3 (especially since Ryan stops revealing it around the Top 5). Chances are they're polling sky-high relative to their competitors, methinks.
That's all I got folks, so until next week...
#SignPiaToscano,
Z
I shall, however, give a shoutout to Haley motherf***ing Reinhart, bringing down the jazzy house. Girl. Power.
In other news, I don't think anyone was particularly stunned by Paul's ouster-- I certainly predicted it (bringing my current prediction rate to 4/7, with all my predictors at least ending up in the Bottom 3). And now that the bragging is done, here's an updated ranking list:
Top 7 Most-Likely-To-Win Rankings:
1.) Scotty McCreery
2.) Lauren Alaina
3.) James Durbin
4.) Casey Abrams (Bottom 3: Final 11)
5.) Jacob Lusk (Bottom 3: Final 9)
6.) Haley Reinhart (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12, 8)
7.) Stefano Langone (Bottom 3: Final 11, 9, 8)
8.) Paul McDonald (Bottom 3: Final 11.2, 8)
9.) Pia Toscano (Bottom 3: Final 9)
10.) Naima Adedapo (Bottom 3: Final 12, 11.2)
11.) Thia Megia (Bottom 3: Final 11, 11.2)
12.) Karen Rodriguez (Bottom 3: Final 13, 12)
13.) Ashton Jones (Bottom 3: Final 13)
This pretty clearly demonstrate that Scotty, Lauren or James will win American Idol Season 10 (though my money's on Scotty). From here on out, Bottom 3 placement isn't really as accurate an indicator of winning potential-- though once again, I'm willing to bet that Lauren/Scotty won't ever grace the B3 (especially since Ryan stops revealing it around the Top 5). Chances are they're polling sky-high relative to their competitors, methinks.
That's all I got folks, so until next week...
#SignPiaToscano,
Z
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