Finally, we’re at the live rounds.
I’m not sure that the jumbled addition of Beatles/Vegas week did much of anything for me (did anyone else feel blitzed by that barrage of over-propped performances?). Especially when I thought Naima and Brett were part of a massive group cut after the Producer’s Seven were anointed safe (I gasped, hand-to-heart). Luckily, I was mistaken (that was cruel, Idol).
But I did greatly prefer the spotlighted hangar walks of suspense to the ill-conceived security-camera elevator rides, or even those ridiculous mansion sing-offs. And while I did feel there was some genuine empathy emanating from the judges this year (sans Randy, duh), I was able to correctly call every single yes/no. 10 seasons later, and Idol has not mastered the art of subtlety... sigh.
Onto some thoughts on “our” Top 24 (and a few others)…
GIRLS
Lauren Turner: Diva! Werk! I feel some Kelly/Carrie/Carly/Allison/Crystal coming on with this one…not that I can ever judge a big-voiced female vocalist objectively. She'll need some work, for sure… but so did the aforementioned Idol royalty, once upon a time.
Naima Adedapo: Easily one of the most likable and deserving contestants of Idol 10, and for all the right reasons. She'll be one to watch, though at this point I must admit I remember her spirit and wardrobe more than her voice… not a great sign. Sick strut on that hangar walk though, gurl!
Lauren Alaina: Puh-lease, as if there was even a shred of doubt that Lauren would make the Top 24. What’s with all the repeat songs though, little lady? I’m not convinced there’s an artist underneath that stunning voice, but I’m more than willing to find out.
Haley Reinhart: Yes, she over-sings just about everything. But still, she has hit the Christina Aguilera-sized soft-spot in my heart for vocal diva antics. I look forward to your live belting, young madame.
Rachel Zevita: Her funky style, smoky voice and crazy falsetto have flown under the radar… until that shaky (but entertaining) take on Gaga’s “Speechless.” I’m excited to see her sing live, for perhaps she can bring the fire Siobhan never delivered last season.
Julie Zorrilla: Learn how to appear less affected and more genuine, and I will begin to love both your considerable vocal talent and on-point fashion sense (the judges were so spot on with her lack of emotion, weren’t they? How refreshing is that?)
Ashton Jones: My Lil Rounds alarm is going off for Ashton, sadly. I love her look and I love her personality, but I’m not sure her voice can withstand the inevitable black-female diva expectations. If you’re going to go toe-to-toe with the likes of Tamrya, Trenyce, Fantasia, LaToya, Jennifer, Vonzell, Melinda, Jordin & Syesha (whew!), you better BRING IT, betch.
Thia Megia: At least we have some more rainbow-themed outfits to look forward to? Because vocally, I fear there’s nothing pleasant to anticipate.
BOYS
Casey Abrams: Yes. Love. Bass! Is it just me, or is anyone else getting some serious male-Adele vibes off of Casey? OK, maybe that’s a bit of an early jump, but I think he could really have those kind of chops.
Robbie Rosen: He’s got everything it takes to win this whole damn thing, minus one mullet-esque haircut. If he can deliver even half as well as his previous showings in the live rounds, he’s a shoe-in for the Idol tour this season.
Paul McDonald: I’m not sure that I’m digging all your “look at me, I’m an original artist” affectations (cue limp T-Rex hand and offbeat wardrobe choices). But lordy, is your voice pretty.
Brett Loewenstern: “We are all shining stars.” As adorable and talented as Brett is, when he utters lines like this, totally deadpan, I fear for his ability to cope with the onslaught of opinions about to hit him. He better hope that bullet-proof vest really works…
James Durbin: Everything from his voice to his look to his backstory feels copycat to me, and no amount of Seacrest cover-up will prove what only a well-delivered performance can. And a tip? If you want to avoid Adam Lambert comparisons, don’t choose to sing the crowning jewel from Adam’s season, fool.
Clint Jun Gamboa: While I think he handled his unfair villain-label rather smartly, I didn’t find his overblown emotional reaction earnest—but here’s hoping his desire to show America what kind of “artist” he is will deliver something more interesting than a series of indiscernible vocal runs.
Jovany Barreto: Remember Jorge Nunez? David Hernandez? No? I fear that Jovany will suffer the same fate, soon enough…
Scotty McCreery: You are indeed in over your head, young one. But this is coming from a diva-loving city slicker, so Scotty’s country stylings were never going to do it for me. That being said, he’s clearly not vocally up to par with his competitors (which will do absolutely nothing to stop the hordes of tweens that will no-doubt vote for him anyway).
Jacob Lusk: I'm standing firm on this one--until this boy learns how to wield that big ol' voice of his, it will continue to feel like being hit with a blunt weapon. Currently, his singing sounds more like parody than performance, to me (as his celebratory reel demonstrates clearly)…
CANNON FODDER
Kendra Chantelle & Stefano Langone: I’m not quite sold on these two yet, though by all rights, I totally should be. Please hold.
Karen Rodriguez, Pia Toscano Tatynisa Wilson, Tim Halperin & Jordan Dorsey: Certainly not bad, but not fantastic either. This kind of mid-level performing is catnip for early public elimination (where only being memorably excellent or mind-blowingly terrible ensures a spot on the couches of safety).
THE DEARLY DEPARTED (slow Steven one-hand clap, please)
Hollie Cavanagh: As much as her departure devastates me, I can’t be mad at JLo’s commentary on her future potential—I’d much rather see her blossom later than become a mid-season castoff now (and we all know us Idol fans love a multi-year comeback. I always had your back, JHud).
Deandre Brackensick: Please make good on your vow to bring it next year. Pretty please?
She Who Shall Not Be Named: At least she managed to bow out of Idol with some surprising grace (and got someone to put a ring on all that crazy). Kudos.
Chris Medina: I didn’t have an ounce of love for his voice, and still I felt myself saddened by his elimination. Thus demonstrates the power of the American Idol dream machine--and I feel your pain, JLo. I feel it.
Jessica Cunningham: Props for knowing that your complete lack of airtime compared to Thia’s would result in an inevitable face-off cut. Hey, maybe you can snag a job as an Idol producer and construct some real suspense for us?
And on that note, I am very excited to see how the live rounds play out. Will JLo and Steven continue to be as dazzling without the power of editing? How will the Producers Pack fare in America’s hands? And will we really get to see this much-discussed (but rarely practiced) transparency the producers keep squawking about? We. Shall. See.
Best,
Z
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Hollywood Week #3
And from your lips Idol drew the Hallelujah! This post will contain very little angry fan ranting, not because there weren't rant-worthy moments tonight (girls vs boys! unnecessary subtitled humiliation! complete lack of last night's triumphant Minor's results), but because for the first time this season, American Idol gave me something to be excited about--talented singers!! So with that thought, I will put my pinot-grigio fueled fingers to good use and talk about said talent...
The Hot
Haley Reinhart: Holy packaged artist, Batman! Complete with matching lace trim and booty heels, this little bombshell may have crammed more performance dynamics into one 30 second clip than necessary, but we all know that's what it takes to shine on a show like Idol.
Clint Jun Gamboa: Unfurled suspenders? Check. Goggle glasses? Check. Mad-crazy vocals, Dawg? Check. Villainous package complete with canned booing? Check. What do all these disparate parts add up to? An American Idol favorite, my friends.
Those Who Chose To Sing Sara Bareilles: Touche, Julie Zorrilla and Robbie Rosen, touche. I liked neither of you until tonight, when you both successfully (and rahter impressively) tackled the most underrated singer/songwriter currently out there. I'm not going to write you a love song, though.
Brett Loewenstern: You melt my little gay heart, you trendy thing you. I adore that Brandi Carlile song and I adore your perfect timing: in a media climate where Gaga is birthing a tolerant, 80s-pop loving race and Glee is making balladeers out of football bullies, you will shine.
Casey Abrams: I have to admit, I didn't get it before. I saw your early performances and thought (as Randy so eloquenty said), "Really?" But now, I GET IT. I seriously get it.
Lauren Alaina: I don't care that she's being pimped harder than one of Charlie Sheen's hookers, she's got the charm and the voice to win this whole damn thing. And I simply cannot wait to see her sing live.
The Warm
Ashton Jones: Seacrest made sure to tell us that "she truly shined," and usually that means some foul treachery is afoot. Aside from some requisite sass, I don't buy this gal's particular brand of diva-- she's like comparing my laptop speakers to a full symphony. Very few can tackle this song with appropriate meatiness, and for me, for you, Ashton didn't deliver enough delicious protein for my liking.
The Georgia Girls: In theory, I should have liked these blonde bombshells, but I think I know why I didn't: despite their obvious vocal chops, I don't think either of them had the requisite soul to pull of this jam. So I'm withholding proper judgement until both tackle some pop songs more suited to their vocal stylings.
Jacee Badeaux: Every time I hear you sing, I smile. But every time I see you, I can't help but see a lamb being led to the slaughter. It's a rather jarring experience.
Caleb Hawley, Colton Dixon, John Wayne Shulz, Stefano Langone: I'm intrigued, but I must seem more. Carry on.
Jacob Lusk: This felt to me more like some kind of muppet impersonation of an overblown American Idol audition than anything worthy of a standing ovation, right down to the snotty after-performance discharge. No doubt the boy has a hefty bag of vocal tricks, but who said he had to use a new one every few seconds? This performance was in serious need of some kind of gastric bypass surgery... take off the extra pounds, and I think there's a very promising singer under there.
The Cold
Thia Megia: "She's amazing," whispered JLo. But the only thing amazing about this soon-to-be-annoying teen is her sesame-street-inspired wardrobe. Her voice just isn't pleasant to listen to, point blank.
Chris Medina & Carson Higgins: It's my prerogative to say that you're both surviving based on anything and everything but your vocal talent.
Scotty Mcgreery: I cannot believe you were the butt of an always ill-fated Idol joke, yet still managed to survive another cut. Nuts of Wonder, indeed.
Ashley Sullivan: Idol chooses one crazy every season as potential water-cooler fodder, and every season, I choose to protest this Idol move by ignoring their existence. Hence, this will be the last time I ever discuss the girl who stole a spot from someone like Sara Sellers.
So there we have it. While this season is shaping up to potentially recapture the glory of Season 8, I'm not holding my breath just yet. Especially not when Idol is introducing some new post-Hollywood, pre-live round (complete with fancy sets and fog machines). Until next week, drop down and get your Idol on, girl.
Best,
Z
The Hot
Haley Reinhart: Holy packaged artist, Batman! Complete with matching lace trim and booty heels, this little bombshell may have crammed more performance dynamics into one 30 second clip than necessary, but we all know that's what it takes to shine on a show like Idol.
Clint Jun Gamboa: Unfurled suspenders? Check. Goggle glasses? Check. Mad-crazy vocals, Dawg? Check. Villainous package complete with canned booing? Check. What do all these disparate parts add up to? An American Idol favorite, my friends.
Those Who Chose To Sing Sara Bareilles: Touche, Julie Zorrilla and Robbie Rosen, touche. I liked neither of you until tonight, when you both successfully (and rahter impressively) tackled the most underrated singer/songwriter currently out there. I'm not going to write you a love song, though.
Brett Loewenstern: You melt my little gay heart, you trendy thing you. I adore that Brandi Carlile song and I adore your perfect timing: in a media climate where Gaga is birthing a tolerant, 80s-pop loving race and Glee is making balladeers out of football bullies, you will shine.
Casey Abrams: I have to admit, I didn't get it before. I saw your early performances and thought (as Randy so eloquenty said), "Really?" But now, I GET IT. I seriously get it.
Lauren Alaina: I don't care that she's being pimped harder than one of Charlie Sheen's hookers, she's got the charm and the voice to win this whole damn thing. And I simply cannot wait to see her sing live.
The Warm
Ashton Jones: Seacrest made sure to tell us that "she truly shined," and usually that means some foul treachery is afoot. Aside from some requisite sass, I don't buy this gal's particular brand of diva-- she's like comparing my laptop speakers to a full symphony. Very few can tackle this song with appropriate meatiness, and for me, for you, Ashton didn't deliver enough delicious protein for my liking.
The Georgia Girls: In theory, I should have liked these blonde bombshells, but I think I know why I didn't: despite their obvious vocal chops, I don't think either of them had the requisite soul to pull of this jam. So I'm withholding proper judgement until both tackle some pop songs more suited to their vocal stylings.
Jacee Badeaux: Every time I hear you sing, I smile. But every time I see you, I can't help but see a lamb being led to the slaughter. It's a rather jarring experience.
Caleb Hawley, Colton Dixon, John Wayne Shulz, Stefano Langone: I'm intrigued, but I must seem more. Carry on.
Jacob Lusk: This felt to me more like some kind of muppet impersonation of an overblown American Idol audition than anything worthy of a standing ovation, right down to the snotty after-performance discharge. No doubt the boy has a hefty bag of vocal tricks, but who said he had to use a new one every few seconds? This performance was in serious need of some kind of gastric bypass surgery... take off the extra pounds, and I think there's a very promising singer under there.
The Cold
Thia Megia: "She's amazing," whispered JLo. But the only thing amazing about this soon-to-be-annoying teen is her sesame-street-inspired wardrobe. Her voice just isn't pleasant to listen to, point blank.
Chris Medina & Carson Higgins: It's my prerogative to say that you're both surviving based on anything and everything but your vocal talent.
Scotty Mcgreery: I cannot believe you were the butt of an always ill-fated Idol joke, yet still managed to survive another cut. Nuts of Wonder, indeed.
Ashley Sullivan: Idol chooses one crazy every season as potential water-cooler fodder, and every season, I choose to protest this Idol move by ignoring their existence. Hence, this will be the last time I ever discuss the girl who stole a spot from someone like Sara Sellers.
So there we have it. While this season is shaping up to potentially recapture the glory of Season 8, I'm not holding my breath just yet. Especially not when Idol is introducing some new post-Hollywood, pre-live round (complete with fancy sets and fog machines). Until next week, drop down and get your Idol on, girl.
Best,
Z
Hollywood Week #2
Group week has come and gone, and I couldn't be happier to see it go. The mother of all contrived drama fests, group round usually tells me nothing of the future of a solo singer-- not to mention this year we had to endure an extra hour of "remember what we showed you ten minutes ago" footage. Seriously Idol, most of us loyal viewers can remember what happened 7 seasons ago with perfect clarity, so why do you assume we can't remember the stupid group drama you JUST showed us before the commercial break?
I simply cannot wait until we emerge from the overly-edited frustration-fest that is early Idol and get on to what we all really care about-- the live rounds, where no note is left behind. In the meantime, all I can bring myself to do is comment on those standouts (good and bad) from this year's regrettable groupon.
Surprise Standouts:
Four Forties: Lauren Turner's wailing ways may have been a little rough, but that kind of raw vocal muscle is the stuff of (my) Idol dreams. Run and tell your girlfriend, indeed. And Adrian Michael-- where have you been hiding, you absolute cutie. A clean-cut, likable, talented black male singer? Maybe Idol can finally get it right with these two...
The Minors (aka The Cast of Urban Glee): OK, that was kind of wrong, sorry. But these 15-16 year olds gave me some real-life New Directions vocals matched with our first truly deserved Idol-triumph moment (just substitute a confetti shower with a stage mom rush).
Hollie Cavanagh: Love you, girl. LOVE YOU. And, all irrational contestant attachments are a go.
Lara Johnston and Stevie Cain: I see flashes of a "Bette Davis Eyes"-like performances in their futures, yes I do.
Da'quela Payne and Matthew Nuss: equal parts diva, of the male and female variety. I wants more of them, Idol. I wants more.
Hit Em Up Style-- I went to Neiman Marcus on a shopping spree-a, and on the way I called Soleil and Mia. YES nonsensical rhymes. Love that song, so I will overlook the complete lack of individual vocal talent these "Hits" brought to the table.
So Disappointing Indeed
Poor Paris Tassin. She probably didn't have the vocal consistency to survive in the Idol jungle, but she was so damn likable (and well dressed). But stand strong, mama and move on (X-Factor, here she comes).
Emily Anne Reed: If you're going to cut a girl this unique, give us a single wonky note? Just one?
Devyn Rush: We feel your pain, girl. I blame the awful de-boyfriended couple girls for taking your spot (sometimes drama > vocal ability). Seriously, that blonde mess sounded HEINOUS.
Please Go Home
More Jersey Girls: I cannot remember any of their names, or more importantly, any of their voices. Next.
Four Plus One: Jordan Dorsey is almost as massively unlikable as he is forgettable. Sweet boots though, kid. Robbie Rosen, on the other hand, probably hoped the sheen from his leather vest would distract from the fact he forgot his words. Add a helping of bad end-harmony and jank audience reactions, and you get-- five Yes's? Seriously, when JLo's best critique is "you all had a chance to sing," shouldn't some No's be merited?
Rebel Star: Wrong show, ladies. I hear tryouts for Making The Band 19 are starting up-- maybe you can become marginalized by Diddy.
James Durbin: Please stop screaming and remove that bandana-tail from your behind.
Julie Zorrilla: How many poof-skirted dresses does it take to cover a stank personality and a mediocre voice? Three (and counting).
That's all I got for this (disappointing) group round. Let's hope solos have less recaps and more SINGING.
Best,
Z
I simply cannot wait until we emerge from the overly-edited frustration-fest that is early Idol and get on to what we all really care about-- the live rounds, where no note is left behind. In the meantime, all I can bring myself to do is comment on those standouts (good and bad) from this year's regrettable groupon.
Surprise Standouts:
Four Forties: Lauren Turner's wailing ways may have been a little rough, but that kind of raw vocal muscle is the stuff of (my) Idol dreams. Run and tell your girlfriend, indeed. And Adrian Michael-- where have you been hiding, you absolute cutie. A clean-cut, likable, talented black male singer? Maybe Idol can finally get it right with these two...
The Minors (aka The Cast of Urban Glee): OK, that was kind of wrong, sorry. But these 15-16 year olds gave me some real-life New Directions vocals matched with our first truly deserved Idol-triumph moment (just substitute a confetti shower with a stage mom rush).
Hollie Cavanagh: Love you, girl. LOVE YOU. And, all irrational contestant attachments are a go.
Lara Johnston and Stevie Cain: I see flashes of a "Bette Davis Eyes"-like performances in their futures, yes I do.
Da'quela Payne and Matthew Nuss: equal parts diva, of the male and female variety. I wants more of them, Idol. I wants more.
Hit Em Up Style-- I went to Neiman Marcus on a shopping spree-a, and on the way I called Soleil and Mia. YES nonsensical rhymes. Love that song, so I will overlook the complete lack of individual vocal talent these "Hits" brought to the table.
So Disappointing Indeed
Poor Paris Tassin. She probably didn't have the vocal consistency to survive in the Idol jungle, but she was so damn likable (and well dressed). But stand strong, mama and move on (X-Factor, here she comes).
Emily Anne Reed: If you're going to cut a girl this unique, give us a single wonky note? Just one?
Devyn Rush: We feel your pain, girl. I blame the awful de-boyfriended couple girls for taking your spot (sometimes drama > vocal ability). Seriously, that blonde mess sounded HEINOUS.
Please Go Home
More Jersey Girls: I cannot remember any of their names, or more importantly, any of their voices. Next.
Four Plus One: Jordan Dorsey is almost as massively unlikable as he is forgettable. Sweet boots though, kid. Robbie Rosen, on the other hand, probably hoped the sheen from his leather vest would distract from the fact he forgot his words. Add a helping of bad end-harmony and jank audience reactions, and you get-- five Yes's? Seriously, when JLo's best critique is "you all had a chance to sing," shouldn't some No's be merited?
Rebel Star: Wrong show, ladies. I hear tryouts for Making The Band 19 are starting up-- maybe you can become marginalized by Diddy.
James Durbin: Please stop screaming and remove that bandana-tail from your behind.
Julie Zorrilla: How many poof-skirted dresses does it take to cover a stank personality and a mediocre voice? Three (and counting).
That's all I got for this (disappointing) group round. Let's hope solos have less recaps and more SINGING.
Best,
Z
Season 10: Hollywood Week #1
All right, I've been gone for a minute but I'm back at the (season 10) jump-off. And I'm sticking all the way through this time, kiddies. So get ready, cuz here I come...
First of all, RIP Sarah Sellers. You will join the ranks of deserving castoffs cruelly forgotten by the Idol machine, but always remembered fondly by us hardened Idol diehards (whatup, Katelyn Epperly. Still miss you girl).
Second of all, I hate to even say this, because I have been a ridiculous Idol fan for 10 years (my fervor for the show can only be compared to the most intense of sports fans), but I think the end is near. With The X-Factor and The Voice vultures circling, I was promised transparency by my Idol producers for Season 10, but if said "transparency" just means the occasional glimpse at a recording microphone, cameraman or disgruntled P.A., or Ryan Seacrest saying we'll be "losing some of our favorites," then you have another thing coming, Idol. So far, the brand new Idol hasn't been so brand new (save for some seriously upgraded judges-- though only live-round auditions will allow them to prove their musical judging mettle).
Anyway, enough blabbering, and on to what really matters-- the TALENT.
Brett Loewenstern: I have a feeling this plucky red-head will ride a Glee-sized wave all the way through this year's Idol circus. From the moment he opened his (singing) mouth in New Orleans, I saw the stuff of Idol legend. My expert prediction: he's going to blow up, Clay Aiken style. My second expert prediction: he's going to break down, Lindsay Lohan style. If this gay seedling thinks high-school bullies are tough, wait until he meets the world's biggest bully: America.
Rachel Zenita: Great song choice, and thank god the girl wore something more memorable: though fish-netted bra tanks and front-faded jeans do not an Idol make. But sing on, girl. Sing on.
Thia Megia: Stop singing, girl, stop singing. See: Diana DeGarmo, Paris Bennett, Ramiele Malubay, Lisa Tucker and the dozens of other Idol teens who's infectious talent turned straight infectious in a matter of weeks. Also, who told you the homeless rainbow flag look was in this year?
Casey Abrams: Something before that wonky high note must have gone well, because I'm not sure where the yelps and standing ovations are coming from yet...
Victoria Huggins: The bitchy glares you received from your fellow LAX patrons says it all.
Paris Tassin: "Set it off, Paris," uttered J.Lo. And set it off she did. I understand that this Celine Dion juggernaut song reeks of pure irrelevance, but anyone who can get her diva-belt on that tight wins in my book. If you're here Paris, there's nothing I fear.
James Durbin: How many off-pitch notes can you get away with if you insert one Adam Lambert-esque wail at the end of your audition? Unlimited, apparently.
Lauren Alaina: I'm drinking the Kool-Aid on this one, because girl has simply got "it." But whether she has the experience to reign in that superbly massive voice of hers has yet to be seen. I'm praying she can, because anyone who can potentially be a hybrid of Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks is my diva wet dream.
Chris Medina: I'm cashing in for my ticket to hell on this one, but come on. Guy just isn't up to par. And the fact that Randy cut him off before he even got out a third line shows why he has made it through... (wow, I want to punch myself in the face for this one. Because I think even I'd send him through if I were on that judges panel... some backstories speak louder than voices).
Jacee Badeaux: Is he a star? No. Do I want to hear him sing in the live rounds? Yes. Will he ever recover from this experience? Probably not.
Robbie Rosen: This kid seems to be the real deal, potentially. Excited to see more (sans mullet, of course).
Hollie Cavanagh: OK, who else didn't see this one coming? Girl obviously went home and practiced her butt off (in some gold sparkly stilettos, to boot). Within two notes I became a massive fan. This marks my first unyielding and irrational attachment to a contestant (because man, do I love an underdog). Congratulations Hollie, if you ever release some kind of fantastic (or janktastic) album, you'll sell at least one...
Awkward Foursome Roomies: I couldn't care less about any of their relationship drama (or their voices, for that matter). I did love, however, that after Randy's unnecessary and socially-retarded cruelty to boyfriend Nick, J.Lo and Steven rightfully shunned him (damn, can that Jenny throw some shade, or what?). That being said, if anyone deserved the Dawg's brand of "honesty," it's Mr. I-get-by-on-my-looks.
The Encores: You are most likely going to be given 10 seconds (if you're lucky) in front of America to show what kind of artist you want to potentially be, so why on earth would you choose to repeat yourself? Oh, I know why. Your low range can't support any other song? Your insane screaming only sounds good when it's about sexy time? But damn, Jackie Wilson, you rock. Why you gotta deprive my ears of another sweet song, especially when Aretha has dozens of comparably amazing ditties? Shame on you.
Tiffany Rios: Maybe you and Tatiana Del Toro can form some kind of heinous girl-group. I hear Danity Kane has some openings (tell me are you up for the challenge, cuz these girls are damaged)
Molly Dewolf: Now we didn't get to hear you sing, but I got your back, girl. As a fellow ivy-league over-achiever, I know people will hate on you for appearing "privileged" and "spoiled." But no one gets where you are without heaping amounts of hard, hard work, no matter where you come from. And you can sing your pretty little butt off. I've already set my speed dial for you..
And thus concludes my first (but far from last) Idol rant. It's gonna be a long season...
Best,
Z
First of all, RIP Sarah Sellers. You will join the ranks of deserving castoffs cruelly forgotten by the Idol machine, but always remembered fondly by us hardened Idol diehards (whatup, Katelyn Epperly. Still miss you girl).
Second of all, I hate to even say this, because I have been a ridiculous Idol fan for 10 years (my fervor for the show can only be compared to the most intense of sports fans), but I think the end is near. With The X-Factor and The Voice vultures circling, I was promised transparency by my Idol producers for Season 10, but if said "transparency" just means the occasional glimpse at a recording microphone, cameraman or disgruntled P.A., or Ryan Seacrest saying we'll be "losing some of our favorites," then you have another thing coming, Idol. So far, the brand new Idol hasn't been so brand new (save for some seriously upgraded judges-- though only live-round auditions will allow them to prove their musical judging mettle).
Anyway, enough blabbering, and on to what really matters-- the TALENT.
Brett Loewenstern: I have a feeling this plucky red-head will ride a Glee-sized wave all the way through this year's Idol circus. From the moment he opened his (singing) mouth in New Orleans, I saw the stuff of Idol legend. My expert prediction: he's going to blow up, Clay Aiken style. My second expert prediction: he's going to break down, Lindsay Lohan style. If this gay seedling thinks high-school bullies are tough, wait until he meets the world's biggest bully: America.
Rachel Zenita: Great song choice, and thank god the girl wore something more memorable: though fish-netted bra tanks and front-faded jeans do not an Idol make. But sing on, girl. Sing on.
Thia Megia: Stop singing, girl, stop singing. See: Diana DeGarmo, Paris Bennett, Ramiele Malubay, Lisa Tucker and the dozens of other Idol teens who's infectious talent turned straight infectious in a matter of weeks. Also, who told you the homeless rainbow flag look was in this year?
Casey Abrams: Something before that wonky high note must have gone well, because I'm not sure where the yelps and standing ovations are coming from yet...
Victoria Huggins: The bitchy glares you received from your fellow LAX patrons says it all.
Paris Tassin: "Set it off, Paris," uttered J.Lo. And set it off she did. I understand that this Celine Dion juggernaut song reeks of pure irrelevance, but anyone who can get her diva-belt on that tight wins in my book. If you're here Paris, there's nothing I fear.
James Durbin: How many off-pitch notes can you get away with if you insert one Adam Lambert-esque wail at the end of your audition? Unlimited, apparently.
Lauren Alaina: I'm drinking the Kool-Aid on this one, because girl has simply got "it." But whether she has the experience to reign in that superbly massive voice of hers has yet to be seen. I'm praying she can, because anyone who can potentially be a hybrid of Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks is my diva wet dream.
Chris Medina: I'm cashing in for my ticket to hell on this one, but come on. Guy just isn't up to par. And the fact that Randy cut him off before he even got out a third line shows why he has made it through... (wow, I want to punch myself in the face for this one. Because I think even I'd send him through if I were on that judges panel... some backstories speak louder than voices).
Jacee Badeaux: Is he a star? No. Do I want to hear him sing in the live rounds? Yes. Will he ever recover from this experience? Probably not.
Robbie Rosen: This kid seems to be the real deal, potentially. Excited to see more (sans mullet, of course).
Hollie Cavanagh: OK, who else didn't see this one coming? Girl obviously went home and practiced her butt off (in some gold sparkly stilettos, to boot). Within two notes I became a massive fan. This marks my first unyielding and irrational attachment to a contestant (because man, do I love an underdog). Congratulations Hollie, if you ever release some kind of fantastic (or janktastic) album, you'll sell at least one...
Awkward Foursome Roomies: I couldn't care less about any of their relationship drama (or their voices, for that matter). I did love, however, that after Randy's unnecessary and socially-retarded cruelty to boyfriend Nick, J.Lo and Steven rightfully shunned him (damn, can that Jenny throw some shade, or what?). That being said, if anyone deserved the Dawg's brand of "honesty," it's Mr. I-get-by-on-my-looks.
The Encores: You are most likely going to be given 10 seconds (if you're lucky) in front of America to show what kind of artist you want to potentially be, so why on earth would you choose to repeat yourself? Oh, I know why. Your low range can't support any other song? Your insane screaming only sounds good when it's about sexy time? But damn, Jackie Wilson, you rock. Why you gotta deprive my ears of another sweet song, especially when Aretha has dozens of comparably amazing ditties? Shame on you.
Tiffany Rios: Maybe you and Tatiana Del Toro can form some kind of heinous girl-group. I hear Danity Kane has some openings (tell me are you up for the challenge, cuz these girls are damaged)
Molly Dewolf: Now we didn't get to hear you sing, but I got your back, girl. As a fellow ivy-league over-achiever, I know people will hate on you for appearing "privileged" and "spoiled." But no one gets where you are without heaping amounts of hard, hard work, no matter where you come from. And you can sing your pretty little butt off. I've already set my speed dial for you..
And thus concludes my first (but far from last) Idol rant. It's gonna be a long season...
Best,
Z
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Final 10
I have to admit, after last week’s dismissal of Alexis, I lost my Idol faith. This happens every season when my favorite goes—I become disillusioned and obsessively moody, and the only way I can justify this is by saying that sports fans show the same emotion when their team loses. But I digress—Motown week pulled me right back in, showing that this competition is indeed a shockingly tight seven-way race. Plus, I can actually add another member to my A-Team (no longer Alexis and Allison, but now Allison and Adam). Before I get to the rundown, can I just say: isn’t it totally disheartening that the contestants seem to sound better in their introductory clips when it’s just their voices and the piano? What’s going on with the band this year?
Anyway, here are my thoughts, from best of the night to worst…
Adam Lambert—“The Tracks of My Tears.” Finally, I can say without a doubt in my mind that I am an Adam Lambert fan. He did what I (kinda sorta) knew he could do all along: deliver a song with conviction, passion and stunning vocals without being completely over-the-top. This performance was so good it goes as far as to re-color his previous performances for me—I alter my undecided status to unabashed support! I cannot wait to see what Adam will do next, and he’s right on track to win this sucker.
Allison Iraheta—“Papa Was A Rolling Stone.” Sweet lord, I don’t even know if I should bother because you know what I’m going to say—I LOVE THIS GIRL. All I can see when I look at her is Kelly Clarkson, and when I listen to her, spontaneous ear orgasms ensue. I was out of my seat and cheering by the end of this. American Idol! (Now if only the judges would put down their crayons long enough to see this too).
Kris Allen—“How Sweet It Is.” Kris definitely sounded better when it was just his voice, the piano and the guitar, but he still pulled this performance off. His voice is simply as smooth as butter—there’s something immensely pleasing about it, so I know we’ll be hearing a pop album from him no matter where he lands on Idol. But he’s proving slowly that he deserves to stick around for a good, long while. And kudos on the final power note—I don’t know why more Idol contestants haven’t figured out that a little gratuitous belting goes a long way, if appropriately placed…
Matt Giraud—“Let’s Get It On.” Although I don’t want to think of “The Arrogant Forehead” (yes, I just made that insulting nickname up, I’m sad to say) in any kind of sexual context, I didn’t hate him for this. But I didn’t love him either. That being said, Matt certainly deserves to be crooning up there in the Top 10 (who am I kidding, in the Top 7). But then again, let’s be real—there is NO WAY he’s going to win this thing. I may eat those words later, but I just don’t see him taking down Adam, Kris or Danny. Conclusion: Matt remains firmly in the middle, despite his best efforts.
Danny Gokey—"Get Ready." I am a big fan of Danny’s voice, and I still hold he is a perfectly suited Idol contestant. Let’s face it, he’s going to continue to breeze through and there is little to be done about that. But I do have a bone to pick—Kara (and the other judges) keep (over)emphasizing the importance of original artistry this season for every other contestant, yet no one chooses to call Danny on his total lack of musical personality. His song choices are consistently Lite-FM-worthy and he’s made no impact as far as his own musical stylings go. He’s picked nothing but cheese and sap, and I thought Idol had left these things behind with Taylor Hick’s crown. And NEVER hand-roll with the backup singers, Danny. Ever.
Anoop Desai—“Ooh Baby Baby.” Dull indeed. Beautifully sung, yes, but dull. Step it up, Anoop, if you want to crack 7th place! That’s all I really have…
Lil Rounds—“Heatwave.” I want to like you so much Lil, why won’t you let me? Something about her voice simply doesn’t sound right to me, and this is coming from a true Idol diva expert. This performance was wildly overbaked, and Simon was right, she SO could have had a moment here with the right song. Instead, Adam and Allison stole the show, and Lil keeps sinking lower and lower…and quit it with that damn fake laugh, it’s so transparent!
Megan Joy—“For Once In My Life.” What the hell is going on? Megan lacks stage presence, rhythm, musical savvy, style and confidence. She does possess one helluva gorgeous face and a semi-interesting tone to her voice, but she does not possess the ability to sing in key, hit big notes or prove that she is even within remote striking distance of the likes of Amy Winehouse, Duffy or Jazmine Sullivan, just to name a few. This needs to end. Soon.
Scott MacIntyre—“You Can’t Hurry Love.” It’s very difficult for me to actually form an opinion about this performance—well that’s not true, it was miserable and amateurish and suited for a sub-par piano bar. What I’m having difficulty with is caring enough to take the time to write about Scott. It’s time. Please release him from this misery.
Michael Sarver—“Ain’t To Proud To Beg.” If Michael were only mediocre this week, I think he’d be a goner for sure. But because this performance was such a complete train wreck, I don’t think he’ll get the (much-deserved) boot just yet. At least he can stand “proud” among the likes of Haley Scarnato, Kristy Lee Cook, Sanjaya Malakar and John Stevens as the plucky-yet-untalented survivor of this season.
Predictions: It’s obvious Scott, Michael and Megan are not on the same level as the other contestants, and not only do they belong in the bottom three, they probably will actually be there based on last night (what a shocker that would be)! I’m pegging Scott for the boot only because he didn’t tank totally like Sarver, which will probably win the latter the pity votes formerly assigned to blindness.
Best,
Z
Anyway, here are my thoughts, from best of the night to worst…
The Best
Adam Lambert—“The Tracks of My Tears.” Finally, I can say without a doubt in my mind that I am an Adam Lambert fan. He did what I (kinda sorta) knew he could do all along: deliver a song with conviction, passion and stunning vocals without being completely over-the-top. This performance was so good it goes as far as to re-color his previous performances for me—I alter my undecided status to unabashed support! I cannot wait to see what Adam will do next, and he’s right on track to win this sucker.
Allison Iraheta—“Papa Was A Rolling Stone.” Sweet lord, I don’t even know if I should bother because you know what I’m going to say—I LOVE THIS GIRL. All I can see when I look at her is Kelly Clarkson, and when I listen to her, spontaneous ear orgasms ensue. I was out of my seat and cheering by the end of this. American Idol! (Now if only the judges would put down their crayons long enough to see this too).
The Believable
Kris Allen—“How Sweet It Is.” Kris definitely sounded better when it was just his voice, the piano and the guitar, but he still pulled this performance off. His voice is simply as smooth as butter—there’s something immensely pleasing about it, so I know we’ll be hearing a pop album from him no matter where he lands on Idol. But he’s proving slowly that he deserves to stick around for a good, long while. And kudos on the final power note—I don’t know why more Idol contestants haven’t figured out that a little gratuitous belting goes a long way, if appropriately placed…
Matt Giraud—“Let’s Get It On.” Although I don’t want to think of “The Arrogant Forehead” (yes, I just made that insulting nickname up, I’m sad to say) in any kind of sexual context, I didn’t hate him for this. But I didn’t love him either. That being said, Matt certainly deserves to be crooning up there in the Top 10 (who am I kidding, in the Top 7). But then again, let’s be real—there is NO WAY he’s going to win this thing. I may eat those words later, but I just don’t see him taking down Adam, Kris or Danny. Conclusion: Matt remains firmly in the middle, despite his best efforts.
Danny Gokey—"Get Ready." I am a big fan of Danny’s voice, and I still hold he is a perfectly suited Idol contestant. Let’s face it, he’s going to continue to breeze through and there is little to be done about that. But I do have a bone to pick—Kara (and the other judges) keep (over)emphasizing the importance of original artistry this season for every other contestant, yet no one chooses to call Danny on his total lack of musical personality. His song choices are consistently Lite-FM-worthy and he’s made no impact as far as his own musical stylings go. He’s picked nothing but cheese and sap, and I thought Idol had left these things behind with Taylor Hick’s crown. And NEVER hand-roll with the backup singers, Danny. Ever.
Anoop Desai—“Ooh Baby Baby.” Dull indeed. Beautifully sung, yes, but dull. Step it up, Anoop, if you want to crack 7th place! That’s all I really have…
Lil Rounds—“Heatwave.” I want to like you so much Lil, why won’t you let me? Something about her voice simply doesn’t sound right to me, and this is coming from a true Idol diva expert. This performance was wildly overbaked, and Simon was right, she SO could have had a moment here with the right song. Instead, Adam and Allison stole the show, and Lil keeps sinking lower and lower…and quit it with that damn fake laugh, it’s so transparent!
The Broke-Down
Megan Joy—“For Once In My Life.” What the hell is going on? Megan lacks stage presence, rhythm, musical savvy, style and confidence. She does possess one helluva gorgeous face and a semi-interesting tone to her voice, but she does not possess the ability to sing in key, hit big notes or prove that she is even within remote striking distance of the likes of Amy Winehouse, Duffy or Jazmine Sullivan, just to name a few. This needs to end. Soon.
Scott MacIntyre—“You Can’t Hurry Love.” It’s very difficult for me to actually form an opinion about this performance—well that’s not true, it was miserable and amateurish and suited for a sub-par piano bar. What I’m having difficulty with is caring enough to take the time to write about Scott. It’s time. Please release him from this misery.
Michael Sarver—“Ain’t To Proud To Beg.” If Michael were only mediocre this week, I think he’d be a goner for sure. But because this performance was such a complete train wreck, I don’t think he’ll get the (much-deserved) boot just yet. At least he can stand “proud” among the likes of Haley Scarnato, Kristy Lee Cook, Sanjaya Malakar and John Stevens as the plucky-yet-untalented survivor of this season.
Predictions: It’s obvious Scott, Michael and Megan are not on the same level as the other contestants, and not only do they belong in the bottom three, they probably will actually be there based on last night (what a shocker that would be)! I’m pegging Scott for the boot only because he didn’t tank totally like Sarver, which will probably win the latter the pity votes formerly assigned to blindness.
Best,
Z
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Final 11
What a solid night, huh? I usually dread Idol’s country week, but I can honestly say that (while my heart may not be pierced) I enjoyed 10 out of 11 of this weeks performances in some way (sorry Sarver). And for the first time this season the competition seems to really be on—more than half of this year’s bunch now feel like genuine contenders, which will likely make for an unusually unpredictable season. But how about that awkward wrist kiss moment between Paula and Simon before Matt’s performance (Gossip Girl reference, anyone)? Also, does the jumbo stage-screen only creep me out?? Moving on, since almost every song this week has previously been sung on the Idol stage (or by one blonde Idol winner), I thought it’d be fun to play a little comparison game!
So here are my rankings for the night, keeping personal favorites aside (otherwise I fear Alexis and Allison would always top my list)…
Kris Allen—“To Make You Feel My Love.” One of 3 original song choices of the night…and damn, Kris. Damn. His voice was just perfect and his delivery was filled with pure emotion. Except for that nervous tapping leg (which, lucky for Kris, the camera cut out mostly), this was a top-notch performance. He just proved himself a genuine threat in this little horse race.
Danny Gokey—“Jesus Take The Wheel.” Carrie’s vocals are no doubt better, but Danny certainly injected this song with the conviction it deserves. Even his biggest haters must admit he is an ideal Idol contestant in terms of his performance power. But I have no idea how he’s going to translate his sappy, Lite FM song choices on Idol into an actual singing career—I mean, “I Hope You Dance,” “Hero,” and “Jesus Take The Wheel”—should we expect to see him on Vh1’s next installment of Divas Live?
Anoop Desai—“You Were Always On My Mind.” Fantasia killed this one, but Anoop definitely came close. This was an honest and powerful performance—definitely his best so far. He needs to watch some of the runs because he tends to steer off-course, but overall Anoop showed he can sing and fully redeemed himself.
Matt Giraud—“So Small.” I don’t think Matt did a “more emotional, heartfelt” version than Carrie, but he did just fine (he really needs to kill the entitled attitude, doesn’t he? It’s highly unlikable). I’m glad he kept the band’s involvement to a minimum, and I do think this is the first time Matt pulled his performance together entirely. Not really worthy of the show-closer (see the above three males for a better choice), but still great. Welcome to the tour, Mr. Justin Buble!
Alexis Grace—“Jolene.” Alexis blew Brooke White’s manic version out of the water, and I totally ate this up. I thought it was emotional, heartfelt and powerfully delivered. I’m an unabashed Alexis fan, so perhaps that’s why I thought she was shortchanged (yet again) by the judges. Is she this year’s Syesha Mercado, destined to be the continual whipping post for the judges? Alexis was showing a more subdued side people, and I say she did it well. And do the judges just want her to strip on stage? How much dirtier can she get, and then how long will it take before they accuse her of being predictable?
Allison Iraheta—“Blame It On Your Heart.” Allison proved she can sing any genre on this diddy, and kudos for originality in this week of repeats. Sure, this song wasn’t perfectly suited to her style (a little bit too clean-cut), nor was it her best performance (the range was a little too low). But rock solid, like the judges said. Plus she has a fumbling likability that will serve her well, quite like one Ms. Kelly Clarkson. I fear for her safety this week, however, which scares the hell out of me!
Adam Lambert—“Ring Of Fire.” Microphone stroking and shirt lifting? Really, Adam, is that necessary? Well perhaps it is…he’s so consistently over the top, I can’t really fault him for it. But “confused” is the perfect word for my feelings on Adam—he’s the first Idol contestant to totally stump me. I honestly cannot make up my mind about the ever-entertaining Adam—do I love his voice or hate it? I really don’t know. Bottom line is, we’ve never seen (or heard) anything like him on Idol’s stage, and that’s a good (not to mention difficult) thing to do.
Lil Rounds—“Independence Day.” Carrie Underwood eviscerated you on this one Lil, sorry. But I must say for the first time I was somewhat excited by her—maybe it was because she wasn’t an R&B carbon copy. That being said, she still should have made the song her own in some way, like many other contestants. Also, Lil needs to stop presenting herself with all the genuineness of a pageant queen—what’s with that forced laugh? And I don’t like her signature mic pullaway on the last note. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Lil in the bottom 3, if only because this was a standout night, and Lil falls firmly mid-pack.
Megan Joy—“Walking After Midnight.” The good news: Megan decimated Kellie Pickler’s take. The bad news: I can’t seem to care. Granted, this was her most promising showing yet, but still not enough to win me over. She made it into the top 12 by the power of her vagina and will make it onto the tour on the wings of influenza. But I relent, her unique style is starting to take on some depth…despite the bizarre mid-season name change. And stop that hip swivel, damn it!!
Scott MacIntyre—“Wild Angels.” You beat Carmen Rasmusen, Scott, but that’s not really saying much, now is it? His hair has improved quite a bit, but has his voice? The judges are asking for power notes from him, but I really don’t think he has it in him. He probably won’t go home just yet, but I don’t see his one-trick-pony act lasting past the next few weeks.
Michael Sarver—“Ain’t Goin’ Down Till The Sun Comes Up.” Refer to Latoya London, Michael, and bow your head in shame. He was monotone and breathless, and sure he “had fun,” but what about the rest of us? Michael certainly deserves to go, but I suppose we’ll see…
As for predictions, I’d obviously say Michael is getting the boot. I also think Lil and Alexis will be rounding out the bottom three, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Scott or Allison (blasphemy!) down there either. I do think my A-Team is safe though, and if not, surely the Judge’s Save will come into play, right?
Best,
Z
So here are my rankings for the night, keeping personal favorites aside (otherwise I fear Alexis and Allison would always top my list)…
The Best
Kris Allen—“To Make You Feel My Love.” One of 3 original song choices of the night…and damn, Kris. Damn. His voice was just perfect and his delivery was filled with pure emotion. Except for that nervous tapping leg (which, lucky for Kris, the camera cut out mostly), this was a top-notch performance. He just proved himself a genuine threat in this little horse race.
Danny Gokey—“Jesus Take The Wheel.” Carrie’s vocals are no doubt better, but Danny certainly injected this song with the conviction it deserves. Even his biggest haters must admit he is an ideal Idol contestant in terms of his performance power. But I have no idea how he’s going to translate his sappy, Lite FM song choices on Idol into an actual singing career—I mean, “I Hope You Dance,” “Hero,” and “Jesus Take The Wheel”—should we expect to see him on Vh1’s next installment of Divas Live?
Anoop Desai—“You Were Always On My Mind.” Fantasia killed this one, but Anoop definitely came close. This was an honest and powerful performance—definitely his best so far. He needs to watch some of the runs because he tends to steer off-course, but overall Anoop showed he can sing and fully redeemed himself.
Matt Giraud—“So Small.” I don’t think Matt did a “more emotional, heartfelt” version than Carrie, but he did just fine (he really needs to kill the entitled attitude, doesn’t he? It’s highly unlikable). I’m glad he kept the band’s involvement to a minimum, and I do think this is the first time Matt pulled his performance together entirely. Not really worthy of the show-closer (see the above three males for a better choice), but still great. Welcome to the tour, Mr. Justin Buble!
The Believable
Alexis Grace—“Jolene.” Alexis blew Brooke White’s manic version out of the water, and I totally ate this up. I thought it was emotional, heartfelt and powerfully delivered. I’m an unabashed Alexis fan, so perhaps that’s why I thought she was shortchanged (yet again) by the judges. Is she this year’s Syesha Mercado, destined to be the continual whipping post for the judges? Alexis was showing a more subdued side people, and I say she did it well. And do the judges just want her to strip on stage? How much dirtier can she get, and then how long will it take before they accuse her of being predictable?
Allison Iraheta—“Blame It On Your Heart.” Allison proved she can sing any genre on this diddy, and kudos for originality in this week of repeats. Sure, this song wasn’t perfectly suited to her style (a little bit too clean-cut), nor was it her best performance (the range was a little too low). But rock solid, like the judges said. Plus she has a fumbling likability that will serve her well, quite like one Ms. Kelly Clarkson. I fear for her safety this week, however, which scares the hell out of me!
Adam Lambert—“Ring Of Fire.” Microphone stroking and shirt lifting? Really, Adam, is that necessary? Well perhaps it is…he’s so consistently over the top, I can’t really fault him for it. But “confused” is the perfect word for my feelings on Adam—he’s the first Idol contestant to totally stump me. I honestly cannot make up my mind about the ever-entertaining Adam—do I love his voice or hate it? I really don’t know. Bottom line is, we’ve never seen (or heard) anything like him on Idol’s stage, and that’s a good (not to mention difficult) thing to do.
Lil Rounds—“Independence Day.” Carrie Underwood eviscerated you on this one Lil, sorry. But I must say for the first time I was somewhat excited by her—maybe it was because she wasn’t an R&B carbon copy. That being said, she still should have made the song her own in some way, like many other contestants. Also, Lil needs to stop presenting herself with all the genuineness of a pageant queen—what’s with that forced laugh? And I don’t like her signature mic pullaway on the last note. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Lil in the bottom 3, if only because this was a standout night, and Lil falls firmly mid-pack.
The Broke-Down
Megan Joy—“Walking After Midnight.” The good news: Megan decimated Kellie Pickler’s take. The bad news: I can’t seem to care. Granted, this was her most promising showing yet, but still not enough to win me over. She made it into the top 12 by the power of her vagina and will make it onto the tour on the wings of influenza. But I relent, her unique style is starting to take on some depth…despite the bizarre mid-season name change. And stop that hip swivel, damn it!!
Scott MacIntyre—“Wild Angels.” You beat Carmen Rasmusen, Scott, but that’s not really saying much, now is it? His hair has improved quite a bit, but has his voice? The judges are asking for power notes from him, but I really don’t think he has it in him. He probably won’t go home just yet, but I don’t see his one-trick-pony act lasting past the next few weeks.
Michael Sarver—“Ain’t Goin’ Down Till The Sun Comes Up.” Refer to Latoya London, Michael, and bow your head in shame. He was monotone and breathless, and sure he “had fun,” but what about the rest of us? Michael certainly deserves to go, but I suppose we’ll see…
As for predictions, I’d obviously say Michael is getting the boot. I also think Lil and Alexis will be rounding out the bottom three, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Scott or Allison (blasphemy!) down there either. I do think my A-Team is safe though, and if not, surely the Judge’s Save will come into play, right?
Best,
Z
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Final 13
(Firstly, let me say that I ran into Jeanine Vailes at Urth Café on Melrose yesterday, and she is STUNNING—TV screens so do not do her full justice. She was accompanied by a somewhat wompity, sugar-daddy lookin’ date, though).
So the first night on the big stage is always a bit off, seeing as the contestants usually still need to find their comfort zones. I’m home for spring break and forced my mother into watching with me for the first time this season, and at the end she looked at me and said, “That’s it?” I assured her that past performances packed more punch, but I think part of the problem has to do with Michael Jackson’s catalogue—though brilliant, most of his songs are either untouchable, outdated or not suitable for vocally impressive live performances. I think the best is still yet to come, assuming the band fixes their horrendous arrangements and that the contestants stay away from the creepy screen-stage in front of the judge’s table…
Here are my dream rankings, from best to worst…
Alexis Grace—“Dirty Diana.” And a star is born (or is beginning to crown, at least)! Alexis took the stage with all the force of a totally un-medicated birth and sheer passion was dripping all over the floor. Abandoning this somewhat-disturbing metaphor, Alexis possesses a raw talent that I cannot wait to see grow. She did overdo it a bit, but this is supposed to be a learning process, right? I can see her blossoming all the way to the Kodak, so keep it up girl!
Allison Iraheta—“Give In To Me.” I am pissed at Ricky Minor for not allowing me to hear the full glory that was Allison’s performance. Her opening verses prove to be continually flawless, her conviction is electric and her voice is indeed wall-crumbling (kudos Kara). I wasn’t crazy about the song’s relatively flat chorus and thought Allison’s outfit was taking it one step too far, but at least we know who she wants to be. I am afraid of whether she has the voting power to succeed though—I would be outraged (though not totally surprised) if Allison graces the bottom group this week, if only because this early, voters tend to congratulate complete success or failure, leaving behind anything in between…
Adam Lambert—“Black or White.” I still cannot formulate a complete opinion on Adam. He knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s always a blast to watch, I’ll give him that. I just don’t know if I can get behind his voice. A lot of the screaming just felt off-pitch, but is that the point? He’s certainly good at inventing notes, that’s for sure. At the end of it all, I’m still excited to see what he’ll do next, and that’s why he’s ranking so high with me.
Danny Gokey—“P.Y.T.” External seams and frayed cuffs aside, Danny gave a respectable showing. I do think, however, that the big stage swallowed him this first time out (not to mention that the band seemed to overpower his voice, forcing him to growl-shout through a significant portion of this groove). But it was certainly good enough to keep him in my (and probably America’s) good graces—not Final 2 worthy just yet though, Paula!
Matt Giraud—“Human Nature.” Matt’s another one whose voting support I question, especially coming from the Wild Card, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in the bottom. This performance would have packed so much more punch if it was just his voice and the piano (in fact, most instrumental contestants would do well to cast off the dreary band entirely this season). And let’s talk about that never-ending falsetto—get in and get out, Matt, don’t linger! He hasn’t quite nailed a performance yet, but I do still think he has the potential to pull it all together (despite the awkwardly large forehead that steers him safely out of heartthrob territory).
Anoop Desai—“Beat It.” There was a collective groan across my living room when Ryan announced Anoop would be singing Beat It, but all things considered, I think he handled himself adequately. This song doesn’t really lend itself to live performances, but I thought Anoop was energetic and vocally competent. Not his best, but he’s certainly not going anywhere just yet.
Jasmine Murray—“I’ll Be There.” All right, I must admit that I have a soft spot for gorgeous teen balladeers. So maybe my judgments are not totally objective and maybe I’m incapable of detecting the wonky notes everyone else seems to be hearing, but I think Jasmine is being undeservedly bashed. I certainly prefer her brand of diva to the snooze-worthy Lil Rounds, and perhaps it’s because I’m a generation-younger 21-year-old gay boy, but I adore her song choices. I will gladly stand up for Jasmine any day (though I must note she doesn’t really crack my top 6, so I’m not THAT willing…). Oh, did anyone else think it was creepy she seemed to be looking up her own skirt while taking to the jumbo-screen stage?
Kris Allen—“Do You Remember.” Besides being so much fun to look at, Kris possesses genuine stage presence and a perfectly calibrated pop voice. I think the shouting was totally off and crackly on the back end of the song, but otherwise I was pleased. However, I don’t think the contestants should use their instruments superfluously—only sling that guitar on when we can actually hear it, Kris!!
Lil Rounds—“The Way You Make Me Feel.” Lil delivered a decent enough performance, but she still makes me feel dead inside. Perhaps it’s because she’s nowhere near as talented as the divas of Idol past, or perhaps it's because of that miserable ruffled, hip-enlarging mess of an outfit. Whatever it is, she thoroughly bores me, and that usually ensures eventual Idol death.
Jorge Nunez—“Never Can Say Goodbye.” I’m sorry, but I cannot get around the fact that Jorge bears a striking resemblance to Count Chocula! Cereal cartoons aside, if anyone is guilty of over-singing, it’s Jorge. All his big notes were not only off pitch, but totally misplaced. The best part of this performance was the judge’s comments: I chuckled at Randy's, “We had a good time in Puerto Rico.” And then when Jorge said, “I wasn’t going to sing “Bad” by Michael Jackson,” Simon followed with the hilarious: “Well you just did.” Paula seems right (weird to keep saying!) to declare that Jorge deserves to stick around for now, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him grace the bottom this week.
Michael Sarver—“You Are Not Alone.” Well played, good sir, well played. Scott did everything right and totally exceeded my expectations. And while it’s admirable that he did do everything in his power to stick around on this drippy ballad, I think this is indeed all the power he’s got. Which means Scott will probably make the Idol tour, but is doomed to an early finish (unless he bites the bullet and goes country, in which case he could be sticking around for a good while).
Megan Corkrey—“Rockin’ Robin.” Holy Bad Arrangments, Batman! Kaw Kaw!! Her delivery was awkward, her face was filled with fear, her song choice was manic, her dancing lacked any trace of rhythm and her outfit was heinous. I suppose the only answer is: “That’s so Megan!” Yes, she has an original style, but that doesn’t mean the style isn’t completely ridiculous, people!
Scott MacIntyre—“Keep The Faith.” Oh Scott, it actually pains me to dislike you, but I do, I really do. His story is ceaselessly inspirational, but will fail to inspire actual votes unless he proves he can sing a song well from start to finish. I don’t think he has sustainable vocals and his stage presence is lacking, so Scott gets my bottom slot. I doubt he’ll actually get booted, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he lands in the bottom grouping (however the producers decide to arrange it).
So what is this new judging twist? I really hope it’s something like granting their favorite contestant immunity, or maybe even assisting with song choice, instead of something like determining the bottom three or who goes home. I think all us Idol viewers already feel overly manipulated by the producers /judges, and solidifying their choke hold will only serve as a death-blow to the show’s already questionable status this season.
As for predictions, I’d say Megan and Jasmine are probably going to be sentenced to death-by-Carrie-Underwood-custom-single. I think Scott and Jorge may be in trouble as well (and deservedly so), but I also fear for Allison and Matt. If the producers stick with a bottom 3 though, I’d put Megan, Jasmine and Scott there.
Here’s hoping for no disasters tonight, format or elimination-wise!
Best,
Z
So the first night on the big stage is always a bit off, seeing as the contestants usually still need to find their comfort zones. I’m home for spring break and forced my mother into watching with me for the first time this season, and at the end she looked at me and said, “That’s it?” I assured her that past performances packed more punch, but I think part of the problem has to do with Michael Jackson’s catalogue—though brilliant, most of his songs are either untouchable, outdated or not suitable for vocally impressive live performances. I think the best is still yet to come, assuming the band fixes their horrendous arrangements and that the contestants stay away from the creepy screen-stage in front of the judge’s table…
Here are my dream rankings, from best to worst…
The Best
Alexis Grace—“Dirty Diana.” And a star is born (or is beginning to crown, at least)! Alexis took the stage with all the force of a totally un-medicated birth and sheer passion was dripping all over the floor. Abandoning this somewhat-disturbing metaphor, Alexis possesses a raw talent that I cannot wait to see grow. She did overdo it a bit, but this is supposed to be a learning process, right? I can see her blossoming all the way to the Kodak, so keep it up girl!
Allison Iraheta—“Give In To Me.” I am pissed at Ricky Minor for not allowing me to hear the full glory that was Allison’s performance. Her opening verses prove to be continually flawless, her conviction is electric and her voice is indeed wall-crumbling (kudos Kara). I wasn’t crazy about the song’s relatively flat chorus and thought Allison’s outfit was taking it one step too far, but at least we know who she wants to be. I am afraid of whether she has the voting power to succeed though—I would be outraged (though not totally surprised) if Allison graces the bottom group this week, if only because this early, voters tend to congratulate complete success or failure, leaving behind anything in between…
Adam Lambert—“Black or White.” I still cannot formulate a complete opinion on Adam. He knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s always a blast to watch, I’ll give him that. I just don’t know if I can get behind his voice. A lot of the screaming just felt off-pitch, but is that the point? He’s certainly good at inventing notes, that’s for sure. At the end of it all, I’m still excited to see what he’ll do next, and that’s why he’s ranking so high with me.
Danny Gokey—“P.Y.T.” External seams and frayed cuffs aside, Danny gave a respectable showing. I do think, however, that the big stage swallowed him this first time out (not to mention that the band seemed to overpower his voice, forcing him to growl-shout through a significant portion of this groove). But it was certainly good enough to keep him in my (and probably America’s) good graces—not Final 2 worthy just yet though, Paula!
The Believable
Matt Giraud—“Human Nature.” Matt’s another one whose voting support I question, especially coming from the Wild Card, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in the bottom. This performance would have packed so much more punch if it was just his voice and the piano (in fact, most instrumental contestants would do well to cast off the dreary band entirely this season). And let’s talk about that never-ending falsetto—get in and get out, Matt, don’t linger! He hasn’t quite nailed a performance yet, but I do still think he has the potential to pull it all together (despite the awkwardly large forehead that steers him safely out of heartthrob territory).
Anoop Desai—“Beat It.” There was a collective groan across my living room when Ryan announced Anoop would be singing Beat It, but all things considered, I think he handled himself adequately. This song doesn’t really lend itself to live performances, but I thought Anoop was energetic and vocally competent. Not his best, but he’s certainly not going anywhere just yet.
Jasmine Murray—“I’ll Be There.” All right, I must admit that I have a soft spot for gorgeous teen balladeers. So maybe my judgments are not totally objective and maybe I’m incapable of detecting the wonky notes everyone else seems to be hearing, but I think Jasmine is being undeservedly bashed. I certainly prefer her brand of diva to the snooze-worthy Lil Rounds, and perhaps it’s because I’m a generation-younger 21-year-old gay boy, but I adore her song choices. I will gladly stand up for Jasmine any day (though I must note she doesn’t really crack my top 6, so I’m not THAT willing…). Oh, did anyone else think it was creepy she seemed to be looking up her own skirt while taking to the jumbo-screen stage?
Kris Allen—“Do You Remember.” Besides being so much fun to look at, Kris possesses genuine stage presence and a perfectly calibrated pop voice. I think the shouting was totally off and crackly on the back end of the song, but otherwise I was pleased. However, I don’t think the contestants should use their instruments superfluously—only sling that guitar on when we can actually hear it, Kris!!
Lil Rounds—“The Way You Make Me Feel.” Lil delivered a decent enough performance, but she still makes me feel dead inside. Perhaps it’s because she’s nowhere near as talented as the divas of Idol past, or perhaps it's because of that miserable ruffled, hip-enlarging mess of an outfit. Whatever it is, she thoroughly bores me, and that usually ensures eventual Idol death.
The Broke-Down
Jorge Nunez—“Never Can Say Goodbye.” I’m sorry, but I cannot get around the fact that Jorge bears a striking resemblance to Count Chocula! Cereal cartoons aside, if anyone is guilty of over-singing, it’s Jorge. All his big notes were not only off pitch, but totally misplaced. The best part of this performance was the judge’s comments: I chuckled at Randy's, “We had a good time in Puerto Rico.” And then when Jorge said, “I wasn’t going to sing “Bad” by Michael Jackson,” Simon followed with the hilarious: “Well you just did.” Paula seems right (weird to keep saying!) to declare that Jorge deserves to stick around for now, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him grace the bottom this week.
Michael Sarver—“You Are Not Alone.” Well played, good sir, well played. Scott did everything right and totally exceeded my expectations. And while it’s admirable that he did do everything in his power to stick around on this drippy ballad, I think this is indeed all the power he’s got. Which means Scott will probably make the Idol tour, but is doomed to an early finish (unless he bites the bullet and goes country, in which case he could be sticking around for a good while).
Megan Corkrey—“Rockin’ Robin.” Holy Bad Arrangments, Batman! Kaw Kaw!! Her delivery was awkward, her face was filled with fear, her song choice was manic, her dancing lacked any trace of rhythm and her outfit was heinous. I suppose the only answer is: “That’s so Megan!” Yes, she has an original style, but that doesn’t mean the style isn’t completely ridiculous, people!
Scott MacIntyre—“Keep The Faith.” Oh Scott, it actually pains me to dislike you, but I do, I really do. His story is ceaselessly inspirational, but will fail to inspire actual votes unless he proves he can sing a song well from start to finish. I don’t think he has sustainable vocals and his stage presence is lacking, so Scott gets my bottom slot. I doubt he’ll actually get booted, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he lands in the bottom grouping (however the producers decide to arrange it).
So what is this new judging twist? I really hope it’s something like granting their favorite contestant immunity, or maybe even assisting with song choice, instead of something like determining the bottom three or who goes home. I think all us Idol viewers already feel overly manipulated by the producers /judges, and solidifying their choke hold will only serve as a death-blow to the show’s already questionable status this season.
As for predictions, I’d say Megan and Jasmine are probably going to be sentenced to death-by-Carrie-Underwood-custom-single. I think Scott and Jorge may be in trouble as well (and deservedly so), but I also fear for Allison and Matt. If the producers stick with a bottom 3 though, I’d put Megan, Jasmine and Scott there.
Here’s hoping for no disasters tonight, format or elimination-wise!
Best,
Z
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