I've had a few days to ponder Season 10's Top 13--and I must say, daddy is pleased. The talent this year is really stellar (despite some bitter cuts-- Kendra, Robbie & Lauren T, our time together was too short!!), and I'm not really mad at any of the finalists for making it through. Dare I say this season is shaping up to potentially live up to my personal Idol favorites (season 3's diva-fest, season 7's tender artist affair and season 8's crazy original palooza).
Anyway, since I am creepily attached to American Idol contestants like most parents are to their children, I'd like to devote this session to both dispensing advice and cruelly ranking this year's Idol finalists (like any good parent should). So here goes... rankings based on my own personal tastes and advice via song suggestions!
13.) Scotty McCreery: Scotty should admittedly rank higher in terms of his talent level (he's the most clearly defined "artist" in the Top 13-- we know exactly what his album would sound like), but I'm just not that into hardcore-country music. Usually I hate the male-teen-hearthrob throwaway contestants (see John Stevens, Tim Urban, etc), but I have to admit, Scotty is so in the pocket of his particlar genre, I can't help but respect him.
Song Suggestion: Billy Joel's "And So It Goes." I know David Archuleta tackled this song a few years back, but I think Scotty could have a real moment with this heart-wrenchingly simple ballad. It could add a maturity and dimension to his delivery and butter him up for more pop-friendly waters (not to mention the generally lower, simple melody would suit his voice).
12.) Karen Rodriguez: I think Karen was very smart to play up her Latino roots-- it not only felt genuine, but also appealed to a highly underutilized (and underestimated) audience--I'd venture the Latino voting block is as sizable as the contry-loving or tween block. I think she needs to seriously update her songbook if she has any chance at the Idol crown, but to her credit, she's got a solid set of pipes and a very humble, upbeat charm.
Song Suggestion: Wyclef Jean & City High's "Baby's Gonna Stay." This obscure jam would be perfect for Karen: the vaguely Spanish guitar, laid-back cool sound and ample room for vocal acrobatics would display all of Karen's strengths as a singer.
11.) James Durbin: Though I'm not convinced James is the real deal quite yet, I was rather impressed by his first live showing. And as wrong as this may be, seeing James's nerves get the better of him on results night (via some eyebrow twitches) made the previously-not-endearing combo of Asperger's/Tourette's seem not only real, but very human. It was very nice to see a non-posturing side of James, and I hope he channels that more than his "look at me! look at me!" vocal antics in the future.
Song Suggestion: The Darkness's "I Believe In A Thing Called Love." This song would not only support James's wild upper register, but would also give him a platform to do something more playful (a combo Adam Lambert mastered on his season).
10.) Naima Adedapo: While Naima remains the most endearing and deserving contestant in the competition, I'm not sure she has the artistic focus to demonstrate how she'd fit into today's musical landscape. It takes a whole lot more than some crazy gowns and cabaret lounge moves (throwback! whatup Simon!) to master the tenuous balance of originality and relevance.
Song Suggestion: India Arie's "The Heart of the Matter." I can see Naima sliding right into this genre, and this song has a wisdom about it that would translate very well via Naima's earnest emotionality.
9.) Ashton Jones: I think we all agree, the best thing about Ashton is her genuinely awesome take on diva-dom: she's the perfect combo of fun and sass (without a trace of the usual bitchiness attached to this stereotype). What Ashton lacks in vocal strength, she makes up for in confidence-- but this can only take her so far. To avoid a Lil Rounds fate, Ashton needs to tackle less vocally ambitious songs so that her voice can shine, rather than pale in comparison to other more powerful divas.
Song Suggestions: Angie Stone's "I Wish I Didn't Miss You." / Corrine Bailey Rae's "I'd Like To." Both songs are chock full o' attitude, but are a bit more vocally laid back, which would suit Ashon's range more smoothly.
8.) Thia Megia: I totally respected her stripped-down performance style this week, which channeled her voice into a more broadway balladeer style (which seems better suited to Thia than the jazzy style). That being said, if she can find the right songs that balance her vocal maturity against her actual age, I think she's a shoe in for the Idol Tour (but not much more).
Song Suggestions: Paolo Nutini's "White Lies" / Adele's "Hometown Glory." Both are simple-yet-gorgeous ballads that feature a unique pop voice and could replicate the success Thia had with "Out Here On My Own."
7.) Haley Reinhart: I'm probably more of a Haley fan that I should be at this point, but I'm holding to the affirmation that there's something special hidden deep in Haley's voice, underneath that mountain of gratuitous runs. If she finds a way to harness her vocal power (re: Jimmy Iovine's astute Bono comment) and focus that slinky sex appeal, she could become a legitimate dark horse.
Song Suggestions: Duffy's "Save It For Your Prayers"/ Joss Stone's "Dirty Man." Both are jazzy songs that would allow Haley to tease up the playfulness, but both only call for a few well-placed diva moments. If delivered simply, these songs could elevate Haley into something more than a Christina Aguilera ripoff.
6.) Jacob Lusk: Jacob proved to me that he can pull back enough on a song to deliver a dynamic and well-balanced performance, but I'm still concerned about the Taylor Hicks effect: perfect for the Idol stage, terrible for the pop music scene. If Jacob sharpens his artistry a bit, he's a real contender for the crown.
Song Suggestion: Christina Aguilera's "Mercy On Me." If anyone can handle the ridiculous bigness of this gospel-inspired diva ballad, it's Jacob-- the idea of him tackling this song actually makes me giddy. Plus, female-to-male song conversions always go over well on the Idol stage.
5.) Pia Toscano: Never before has an Idol contestant switched up my take so fast: in two minutes of perfectly pitched Ido perfection, Pia literally went from zero to hero in my (and probably the producer's) book. I'm very curious to see what kind of songs Pia will continue to choose, because "Ill Stand By You" is a timeless ballad not necessarily indicative of her artistic style.
Song Suggestion: Celine Dion's "Then You Look At Me." OK, file this one in the "guilty pleasure" drawer. I don't think this song would do Pia any favors in terms of seeming relevant, but I've always known this song possessed all the trappings of a perfect Idol moment, and Pia seems like just the right girl to bring it to life.
4.) Stefano Langone: I was so, so, so happy Stefano made it through, because he seemed doomed to become an Idol semifinalist-done-wrong. Dare I say he may be the current Idol dark horse--if those other fools don't watch out, Stefano is going to snag that title, Kris Allen style.
Song Suggestion: Joan Osborne's "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted." This is another song perfectly suited for a shining Idol moment, and Stefano displayed enough emotional depth on his Wildcard performance to be able to do this song justice (not to mention Joan's smoky take would help Stefano's voice take on some more dimension).
3.) Paul McDonald: Paul is certainly the most real-world ready of all this year's contestants, and I have a feeling we're due for a lot more of his "quirky" stylings, provided he's able to tackle Idol's theme weeks as well as the Daughtry's, Cook's and Castro's of Idol past.
Song Suggestion: Damien Rice's "The Blower's Daughter." Sung with nothing but a spotlight and a guitar, this haunting ballad would pack all the emotional punch necessary for a spectacular Idol moment.
2.) Lauren Alaina: I know I'm buying into the hype on this one, but the kind of ease Lauren displays on stage has all the trappings of a superstar. Polish this girl up a bit and slap the right songs on her, and she'll really earn all those Clarkson/Underwood comparisons (though I hope she doesn't burn out under the weight of early expectations, Andrew Garcia style).
Song Suggestions: Bonnie Raitt's "Dimming Of The Day" / Pink & Steven Tyler's "Misery." Both of these little-known songs would be absolutely stunning paired with Lauren's vocal chops: the Bonnie song is equal parts haunting and powerful, while the hidden-gem Pink song features more opportunities for country-centric diva grandstanding than just about any other song (plus it can continue Lauren's trend of awkwardly including Mr. Tyler in her performances).
1.) Casey Abrams: As talented as he is original as he is likable, Casey has all the makings of a true Idol, provided he can clean up some of those wonky passion-blind notes (no one wants a Lee Dewyze repeat). I can see Casey developing into an Adele-like powerhouse, with the right touches...
Song Suggestions: N'Sync's "Gone." Crazy, I know, but refer to David Cook's awesome take on "Hello." Casey needs to prove he can tackle a pure-pop song, and this underestimated Timberlake-driven ballad would give Casey the perfect opportunity to display all of his skills, especially if he broke out the stand-up bass (imagine that)!
Whew! All right, I'm spent... but terribly terribly excited to see how this season plays out. Something tells me it's going to be a close race...
Best,
Z
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Top 24 Girls
Color me surprised! I don't think any other Idol telecast has ever forced me to eat my words quite so thoroughly as this one-- almost uniformly, everyone I was looking forward to hearing live underwhelmed, and everyone I had already written off proved me dead wrong. That being said, we have ourselves a tight race among the ladies this year-- with underdogs rising and front-runners flat-lining, predicting who will crack Thursday's Top 5 is proving wildly difficult. But that won't stop me from trying, will it?
Also, while Steven and JLo continued to commit to the Paula Abdul school of judging, Randy managed to once again be fairly lucid and on-point in his criticism (however uneloquently delivered it might be). Additionally, can I just take a moment to slow-clap for the Top 12 girls-- even though this week's performances were far from perfect, I could at least understand and respect each lady's song choice (whether or not it actually worked in their favor). Each one of them seemed to have done their Idol homework and at least attempted to craft a distinctive Idol moment.
But moving on, If it were up to me, here's how Thursday would play out:
Top 5
Lauren Turner: "Seven Day Fool." Sing that Etta, girl. SING IT. Lauren certainly didn't have the best performance of the night (I'll get to you, Pia), but she tops my list because she's got the kind of voice that renders an Idol fool like me completely inert. I've always seen flashes of Kelly Clarkson in Lauren (check out her Top 40 performance on Idol's website--it's crazy good), and when you match that kind of raw vocal power with the songbook of someone like Etta James, I simply fall to pieces.
Pia Toscano: "I'll Stand By You." When I first saw that Pia was filling the much-coveted finale pimp spot, I was rather confused. Then. She. Sang. The last time I was this bowled over by an Idol semifinal performance was way back in Season 3, when one Latoya London rose from obscurity to eviscerate All By Myself, hitting high notes I didn't even know existed. Considering I had completely categorized Pia as robotic, small-voiced cannon fodder, this performance blew me away. Not necessarily because of the vocals (hey, I love a diva screech as much as the next gay, but Pia really had to stretch to hit those notes), but because Pia knew EXACTLY what she was doing on that stage. Much like one Adam Lambert, Pia understands what makes the stuff of Idol legend-- and I can't help but respect her mastery of the elusive Idol moment.
Lauren Alaina: "Turn On The Radio." She really does make it look easy, doesn't she? And she really is the perfect little Kelly Clarkson/Carrie Underwood/Jordin Sparks hybrid, isn't she? And as if she wasn't already a mortal lock for the Idol finals, she smartly chose a country song-- making her a surefire bet for the middle-America votes. But let me just say this: as much as I'm prone to adoring Lauren, I think her representing the goddesses of Idol past is a double-edged sword: this is no longer an American Idol that churns out raw diva wattage-- it instead churns out polished glamberts. As such, I'm fascinated to see how Lauren will fare against the one-two punch of Jacob Lusk/Casey Abrams this season...
Kendra Chantelle: "Impossible." This is far and away my favorite Christina jam (written by one Alicia Keys), so I applaud Kendra for digging this out of XTina's dirrty hamper. Kendra's vocal chops were nearly as tight as her leather pants, and while I'm not convinced I like the squeaky quality of her upper register, I am convinced I want to hear more from this blonde beauty. Packaged performer, indeed.
Ashton Jones: "Love All Over Me." On a night where all the ladies showed vocal prowess, I can't say I was particularly impressed by Ashton's singing (or her bland song choice). But let me tell you, anyone with that much stage presence, style and personality deserves to be seen on Idol again. Most importantly (to me, anyway), Ashton DID NOT flash any cheesy finger-numbers to the camera while Ryan read her digits. I've been waiting 10 seasons for someone to shut down that heinous practice, and Ashton has boldly gone where no other Idol hopeful has gone before, with a smoldering stare and a side-smirk. Werk!
Wildcard Worthy
Thia Megia: "Out Here On My Own." And yet another Season 10 songstress has gotten me to stop sipping that haterade. Everything about Thia's performance (from her voice to the song to that awesome nude feathered dress) screamed "I know exactly what I'm doing on this stage, fool, so suck it." I always think ditching the voice-drowning bandzilla and seisure-inducing backdrops is a smart move, and Thia choosing a stripped down arrangement and simple spotlight was a stroke of brilliance. I'm not ready to say that I'm a Thia fan, but I'm now willing to be won over.
Haley Reinhart: "Fallin." I know, I know--this performance was kind of all over the place. But there's a quality in Haley's voice that I just can't seem to ignore. During those rare moments where she nails the slinky, soulful seductress routine, I see flashes of a real star. But Haley is going to have to find a way to channel all that mess into something more focused-- and I think she deserves one more wildcard shot to prove she can do that (or hit the road).
Karen Rodriguez: "Hero." OK, here comes my own private Idol double standard: what I completely chewed Jovany out for doing last night, I'm going to praise Karen for. Karen may have sang a completely dated song and included a mid-bridge key change (just like Jovany), but for some reason, it worked for her (because let's be honest, some diva ballads live forever, people). I had completely written off Karen as limp-voiced cannon fodder, but she proved that she has not only got a beautiful range and a likable charm, but that she freakin' wants on that Idol tour. Karen put on her game face, and I can't help but respect that.
Cannon Fodder Fails
Naima Adedapo: "Summertime." Placing Naima here really hurts my soul, I must say. But I'm having a hard time finding something to say about this performance... it was really neither here nor there (meaning I enjoyed it, but I don't think it was at all musically relevant and/or impressive enough to merit another Idol showing). Boo hiss, I know. But I still like Naima's personality more than her vocal stylings, and in a race this tight, there's no room for excuses... but here's to hoping I'm totally wrong about this, like I was about pre-hating Karen, Thia & Pia.
Julie Zorrilla: "Breakaway." Oh, Julie. She looked like a Disney Princess tonight, packing all the emotional sincerity of Regina George. Much like a barbie doll, Julie has got all the right moving parts-- but she lacks that discernible "it" factor that would make her a real live girl (or superstar). I wish Julie were old enough to have had someone break her heart a time or two, because then I think she'd have one hell of a shot at being our next American Idol.
Rachel Zevita: "Criminal." And I'm like, uh, why? Uh, WHY? Why, baby? F**k you. Oh, I know that sounds harsh, but Criminal is one of my favorite songs and Rachel was one of my early favorites, and she totally ruined both for me. While I respect the attempt at "make it your own" artistry, this unrecognizably bad take on what could have been a perfect Idol song (ahem, here's looking at you, Lauren Turner) ruined any shot Rachel had at making her long-term Idol dreams come true.
Tatynisa Wilson: "Only Girl In The World." Performing a trendy dance song unaltered has NEVER once ended well on the Idol stage (and I firmly challenge you to disprove this proclamation), especially one that doesn't sound so vocally pleasant to begin with. So while I bet Tatynisa wanted to appear "current" by singing Rihanna, she instead appeared stale and unoriginal. Were I Tatynisa, I would have layed down some updated TLC or Jazmine Sullivan-- but it really doesn't matter, since I highly doubt we'll be hearing her sing again on Idol.
Can I just say, this little judgment session was mad hard, dawg! My love for these ladies is spread pretty evenly, and I'll be happy to see any of them advance (excluding Tatynisa, sorry girl!). That being said, I don't know that I'll shed any tears about losing one of them over another, though... I think this is going to be a very polarizing, dynamic and exciting group!
But if I had to call it, I'd say our Top 5 ladies will be Lauren Alaina, Pia Toscano, Naima Adedapo, Thia Megia and Lauren Turner (leaving Kendra, Ashton and Karen as likely Wildcard draws). But I think Thursday night's results are going to be very interesting indeed...
Until then,
Z
Also, while Steven and JLo continued to commit to the Paula Abdul school of judging, Randy managed to once again be fairly lucid and on-point in his criticism (however uneloquently delivered it might be). Additionally, can I just take a moment to slow-clap for the Top 12 girls-- even though this week's performances were far from perfect, I could at least understand and respect each lady's song choice (whether or not it actually worked in their favor). Each one of them seemed to have done their Idol homework and at least attempted to craft a distinctive Idol moment.
But moving on, If it were up to me, here's how Thursday would play out:
Top 5
Lauren Turner: "Seven Day Fool." Sing that Etta, girl. SING IT. Lauren certainly didn't have the best performance of the night (I'll get to you, Pia), but she tops my list because she's got the kind of voice that renders an Idol fool like me completely inert. I've always seen flashes of Kelly Clarkson in Lauren (check out her Top 40 performance on Idol's website--it's crazy good), and when you match that kind of raw vocal power with the songbook of someone like Etta James, I simply fall to pieces.
Pia Toscano: "I'll Stand By You." When I first saw that Pia was filling the much-coveted finale pimp spot, I was rather confused. Then. She. Sang. The last time I was this bowled over by an Idol semifinal performance was way back in Season 3, when one Latoya London rose from obscurity to eviscerate All By Myself, hitting high notes I didn't even know existed. Considering I had completely categorized Pia as robotic, small-voiced cannon fodder, this performance blew me away. Not necessarily because of the vocals (hey, I love a diva screech as much as the next gay, but Pia really had to stretch to hit those notes), but because Pia knew EXACTLY what she was doing on that stage. Much like one Adam Lambert, Pia understands what makes the stuff of Idol legend-- and I can't help but respect her mastery of the elusive Idol moment.
Lauren Alaina: "Turn On The Radio." She really does make it look easy, doesn't she? And she really is the perfect little Kelly Clarkson/Carrie Underwood/Jordin Sparks hybrid, isn't she? And as if she wasn't already a mortal lock for the Idol finals, she smartly chose a country song-- making her a surefire bet for the middle-America votes. But let me just say this: as much as I'm prone to adoring Lauren, I think her representing the goddesses of Idol past is a double-edged sword: this is no longer an American Idol that churns out raw diva wattage-- it instead churns out polished glamberts. As such, I'm fascinated to see how Lauren will fare against the one-two punch of Jacob Lusk/Casey Abrams this season...
Kendra Chantelle: "Impossible." This is far and away my favorite Christina jam (written by one Alicia Keys), so I applaud Kendra for digging this out of XTina's dirrty hamper. Kendra's vocal chops were nearly as tight as her leather pants, and while I'm not convinced I like the squeaky quality of her upper register, I am convinced I want to hear more from this blonde beauty. Packaged performer, indeed.
Ashton Jones: "Love All Over Me." On a night where all the ladies showed vocal prowess, I can't say I was particularly impressed by Ashton's singing (or her bland song choice). But let me tell you, anyone with that much stage presence, style and personality deserves to be seen on Idol again. Most importantly (to me, anyway), Ashton DID NOT flash any cheesy finger-numbers to the camera while Ryan read her digits. I've been waiting 10 seasons for someone to shut down that heinous practice, and Ashton has boldly gone where no other Idol hopeful has gone before, with a smoldering stare and a side-smirk. Werk!
Wildcard Worthy
Thia Megia: "Out Here On My Own." And yet another Season 10 songstress has gotten me to stop sipping that haterade. Everything about Thia's performance (from her voice to the song to that awesome nude feathered dress) screamed "I know exactly what I'm doing on this stage, fool, so suck it." I always think ditching the voice-drowning bandzilla and seisure-inducing backdrops is a smart move, and Thia choosing a stripped down arrangement and simple spotlight was a stroke of brilliance. I'm not ready to say that I'm a Thia fan, but I'm now willing to be won over.
Haley Reinhart: "Fallin." I know, I know--this performance was kind of all over the place. But there's a quality in Haley's voice that I just can't seem to ignore. During those rare moments where she nails the slinky, soulful seductress routine, I see flashes of a real star. But Haley is going to have to find a way to channel all that mess into something more focused-- and I think she deserves one more wildcard shot to prove she can do that (or hit the road).
Karen Rodriguez: "Hero." OK, here comes my own private Idol double standard: what I completely chewed Jovany out for doing last night, I'm going to praise Karen for. Karen may have sang a completely dated song and included a mid-bridge key change (just like Jovany), but for some reason, it worked for her (because let's be honest, some diva ballads live forever, people). I had completely written off Karen as limp-voiced cannon fodder, but she proved that she has not only got a beautiful range and a likable charm, but that she freakin' wants on that Idol tour. Karen put on her game face, and I can't help but respect that.
Cannon Fodder Fails
Naima Adedapo: "Summertime." Placing Naima here really hurts my soul, I must say. But I'm having a hard time finding something to say about this performance... it was really neither here nor there (meaning I enjoyed it, but I don't think it was at all musically relevant and/or impressive enough to merit another Idol showing). Boo hiss, I know. But I still like Naima's personality more than her vocal stylings, and in a race this tight, there's no room for excuses... but here's to hoping I'm totally wrong about this, like I was about pre-hating Karen, Thia & Pia.
Julie Zorrilla: "Breakaway." Oh, Julie. She looked like a Disney Princess tonight, packing all the emotional sincerity of Regina George. Much like a barbie doll, Julie has got all the right moving parts-- but she lacks that discernible "it" factor that would make her a real live girl (or superstar). I wish Julie were old enough to have had someone break her heart a time or two, because then I think she'd have one hell of a shot at being our next American Idol.
Rachel Zevita: "Criminal." And I'm like, uh, why? Uh, WHY? Why, baby? F**k you. Oh, I know that sounds harsh, but Criminal is one of my favorite songs and Rachel was one of my early favorites, and she totally ruined both for me. While I respect the attempt at "make it your own" artistry, this unrecognizably bad take on what could have been a perfect Idol song (ahem, here's looking at you, Lauren Turner) ruined any shot Rachel had at making her long-term Idol dreams come true.
Tatynisa Wilson: "Only Girl In The World." Performing a trendy dance song unaltered has NEVER once ended well on the Idol stage (and I firmly challenge you to disprove this proclamation), especially one that doesn't sound so vocally pleasant to begin with. So while I bet Tatynisa wanted to appear "current" by singing Rihanna, she instead appeared stale and unoriginal. Were I Tatynisa, I would have layed down some updated TLC or Jazmine Sullivan-- but it really doesn't matter, since I highly doubt we'll be hearing her sing again on Idol.
Can I just say, this little judgment session was mad hard, dawg! My love for these ladies is spread pretty evenly, and I'll be happy to see any of them advance (excluding Tatynisa, sorry girl!). That being said, I don't know that I'll shed any tears about losing one of them over another, though... I think this is going to be a very polarizing, dynamic and exciting group!
But if I had to call it, I'd say our Top 5 ladies will be Lauren Alaina, Pia Toscano, Naima Adedapo, Thia Megia and Lauren Turner (leaving Kendra, Ashton and Karen as likely Wildcard draws). But I think Thursday night's results are going to be very interesting indeed...
Until then,
Z
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Top 24 Guys
Meet Randy Jackson... the voice of reason? Wait, wtf?
I know Steven and JLo are new to the whole judging game, but blanket complements do not an American Idol make. Dare I say I agreed with the majority of Randy's ramblings (and splashes of much-needed constructive criticism). Just because someone sings competently doesn't mean they deserve to have a record deal-- being an artist is about so much more than that (as both Steven and JLo should know first-hand). But here's to hoping they shake off the first-day Paula-isms and that Randy continues to earn that fat paycheck of his.
But on to more important things... the talent. Nothing infuriates me more than when a hopeful singer takes the Idol stage and proceeds to do something derivative, dated or safe. You get one chance, people. ONE CHANCE. Yet every season, half of "our" Top 24 usually devolves into karaoke land, making song choices that would seem strange even in your local dive bar. Crafting an Idol moment is a delicate art, requiring equal parts power and restraint, drama and subtlety-- but anyone who has seen one damn season should know what works and what doesn't on that big stage. It honestly baffles me...
But on the flip side, nothing delights me more than when a hopeful singer takes the Idol stage and proceeds to do something original, unexpected and simply unforgettable. And hallellu, a handful of singers did just that. Season 10's inaugural live episode was littered with those who were clueless, those who tried valiantly and those who succeeded... so let's get onto it.
The Top 5
Casey Abrams: "I Put A Spell On You." Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes. Casey has personality for f***ing days. Add in a steaming pile of artistry and a massive helping of talent, and you have an American Idol sensation. Naima's wild balcony fist-pumping and JLo's astute commentary said it all-- someone's about to change the whole game, Chris Daughtry style. I salute you, sir.
Jacob Lusk: "House Is Not A Home." Never in a million years did I think someone would steal Tamyra Gray's Idol thunder with this song, and never in a billion years did I think the diva-thief would be Jacob. I retract my earlier him-hawing; Jacob can SANG. He tackled that song with all the conviction of a lion stalking its prey, and not since Adam Lambert has an Idol contestant been this exciting to watch. I'm still not sure there's necessarily a relevant artist under all that voice (Taylor Hicks style), but in a night of vanilla, Jacob was a heaping hunk of chocolate lava cake. Can I get an Amen!!
Stefano Langone: "Just The Way You Are." Damn, boy. You gave me Felicia Barton flashbacks (robbed on Season 8, anyone?). Stefano displayed a raw talent and charisma that is wildly rare, but perhaps too raw to advance in this year's Idol game. That being said, I devoted my dialing power solely to this cutie, because I fear his mid-pack running is going to need it. Let's hope, though, that his journey goes more underdog Kris Allen than Kristen McNamara or Ju'not Joyner (I'm sorry, but those Season 8 wounds still run deep).
Paul McDonald: "Maggie May." The sum of his distinct voice, Bradley Cooper looks, dinosaur-esque affectations and "quirky/different" (we get it, Idol) wardrobe adds up to something much greater than this somewhat forgettable performance, luckily for Paul. I wants to see more, and I wants to see it shirtless (jokes, jokes).
Robbie Rosen: "Angel." I had such high expectations for Robbie, so I'm trying not to over-judge this shaky first showing. He certainly displayed the signature vocal re-arranging that makes him special, but not as flawlessly as he did in Hollywood/Vegas. And few teenagers possess the emotional experience necessary to deliver that song-- it's haunting and depressing, but Robbie had a half-smirk on his face the whole time. Any other season he'd have earned another showing in the Final 20, but perhaps not this season where we're cutting to the top 10... nonetheless, he graces my list of ideal finalists.
Wildcard Worthy
James Durbin: "You Got Another Thing Coming." Much to my surprise, I liked James this week. I did not think he was quite as "crazy good" as he thought he was (tone down the celebratory leaping, man), nor do I believe yet that his rocker antics are authentic-- but he sang an interesting song well and demonstrated who he is as a singer. This all merits another shot in my book, one way or another.
Scotty McCreery: "Letters From Home." Let me start by saying I will never vote for Scotty, nor will I ever buy one of his albums. He's simply not this bicoastal, pop-diva-loving gay's cup of vocal tea. But I can't deny that as far as country goes, he's the real deal. And I'd imagine he's going to have the votes of every land-locked teenage girl in America after this performance-- he nailed it, plain and simple.
Brett Loewenstern: "Light My Fire." I get what Brett was trying to accomplish and I respect the (albeit failed) attempt at originality, but I was hoping for much more from Brett. Despite this high school auditorium worthy performance, I do think Brett's positive message and Willow Smith hair-whipping ways will make enough of an impression to move on... but we'll see.
Cannon Fodder Fails
Clint Jun Gamboa: "Superstition." There's no denying that Clint has one hell of a voice, but that didn't stop his performance from lacking a shred of musical relevance. The self-proclaimed "artist" shouted his way through a straight-karaoke rendition of a 40-year-old song, leaving me (and America) with no clue as to what sound he would produce were he to record an album.
Tim Haplerin: "Streetcorner Symphony." Why would anyone ever think that this song would deliver a one-shot pass to the Idol finals? I'm honestly baffled by this choice (which is a shame, because I really want to like this Tim).
Jovany Barretto: "I'll Be." Yes, Jovany sounded (and looked) good. And as a 23-year-old who unabashadly LOVES him some Dawson's Creek era ballads (whatup Paula Cole), I still managed to HATE this performance. Complete with a 90s-diva mid-bridge key-change, Jovany failed to update this song to sound even remotely current (someone should have sat him down and made him watch David Cook's "Hello." 'Nuff Said).
Jordan Dorsey: "OMG." And I'm like, Oh My God, there's so many ways to hate you (and this performance), so I won't even bother recounting them. But can I just say-- you ultimately CHOSE this song, so why on earth did you act like someone else forced this heinous decision upon you? You're stank, jank and bank(rupt).
Predictions: So while this is how I want things to go down, my Idol instincts tell me that Casey, Jacob, Robbie, Brett and Scotty will be filling out the male Top Five on Thursday (which would leave Paul, Stefano and James to hopefully snag wildcard spots). And by the way, anyone else digging the format change? I really think it combines the best of all previous Idol semifinal worlds...
Until tomorrow,
Z
I know Steven and JLo are new to the whole judging game, but blanket complements do not an American Idol make. Dare I say I agreed with the majority of Randy's ramblings (and splashes of much-needed constructive criticism). Just because someone sings competently doesn't mean they deserve to have a record deal-- being an artist is about so much more than that (as both Steven and JLo should know first-hand). But here's to hoping they shake off the first-day Paula-isms and that Randy continues to earn that fat paycheck of his.
But on to more important things... the talent. Nothing infuriates me more than when a hopeful singer takes the Idol stage and proceeds to do something derivative, dated or safe. You get one chance, people. ONE CHANCE. Yet every season, half of "our" Top 24 usually devolves into karaoke land, making song choices that would seem strange even in your local dive bar. Crafting an Idol moment is a delicate art, requiring equal parts power and restraint, drama and subtlety-- but anyone who has seen one damn season should know what works and what doesn't on that big stage. It honestly baffles me...
But on the flip side, nothing delights me more than when a hopeful singer takes the Idol stage and proceeds to do something original, unexpected and simply unforgettable. And hallellu, a handful of singers did just that. Season 10's inaugural live episode was littered with those who were clueless, those who tried valiantly and those who succeeded... so let's get onto it.
The Top 5
Casey Abrams: "I Put A Spell On You." Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes. Casey has personality for f***ing days. Add in a steaming pile of artistry and a massive helping of talent, and you have an American Idol sensation. Naima's wild balcony fist-pumping and JLo's astute commentary said it all-- someone's about to change the whole game, Chris Daughtry style. I salute you, sir.
Jacob Lusk: "House Is Not A Home." Never in a million years did I think someone would steal Tamyra Gray's Idol thunder with this song, and never in a billion years did I think the diva-thief would be Jacob. I retract my earlier him-hawing; Jacob can SANG. He tackled that song with all the conviction of a lion stalking its prey, and not since Adam Lambert has an Idol contestant been this exciting to watch. I'm still not sure there's necessarily a relevant artist under all that voice (Taylor Hicks style), but in a night of vanilla, Jacob was a heaping hunk of chocolate lava cake. Can I get an Amen!!
Stefano Langone: "Just The Way You Are." Damn, boy. You gave me Felicia Barton flashbacks (robbed on Season 8, anyone?). Stefano displayed a raw talent and charisma that is wildly rare, but perhaps too raw to advance in this year's Idol game. That being said, I devoted my dialing power solely to this cutie, because I fear his mid-pack running is going to need it. Let's hope, though, that his journey goes more underdog Kris Allen than Kristen McNamara or Ju'not Joyner (I'm sorry, but those Season 8 wounds still run deep).
Paul McDonald: "Maggie May." The sum of his distinct voice, Bradley Cooper looks, dinosaur-esque affectations and "quirky/different" (we get it, Idol) wardrobe adds up to something much greater than this somewhat forgettable performance, luckily for Paul. I wants to see more, and I wants to see it shirtless (jokes, jokes).
Robbie Rosen: "Angel." I had such high expectations for Robbie, so I'm trying not to over-judge this shaky first showing. He certainly displayed the signature vocal re-arranging that makes him special, but not as flawlessly as he did in Hollywood/Vegas. And few teenagers possess the emotional experience necessary to deliver that song-- it's haunting and depressing, but Robbie had a half-smirk on his face the whole time. Any other season he'd have earned another showing in the Final 20, but perhaps not this season where we're cutting to the top 10... nonetheless, he graces my list of ideal finalists.
Wildcard Worthy
James Durbin: "You Got Another Thing Coming." Much to my surprise, I liked James this week. I did not think he was quite as "crazy good" as he thought he was (tone down the celebratory leaping, man), nor do I believe yet that his rocker antics are authentic-- but he sang an interesting song well and demonstrated who he is as a singer. This all merits another shot in my book, one way or another.
Scotty McCreery: "Letters From Home." Let me start by saying I will never vote for Scotty, nor will I ever buy one of his albums. He's simply not this bicoastal, pop-diva-loving gay's cup of vocal tea. But I can't deny that as far as country goes, he's the real deal. And I'd imagine he's going to have the votes of every land-locked teenage girl in America after this performance-- he nailed it, plain and simple.
Brett Loewenstern: "Light My Fire." I get what Brett was trying to accomplish and I respect the (albeit failed) attempt at originality, but I was hoping for much more from Brett. Despite this high school auditorium worthy performance, I do think Brett's positive message and Willow Smith hair-whipping ways will make enough of an impression to move on... but we'll see.
Cannon Fodder Fails
Clint Jun Gamboa: "Superstition." There's no denying that Clint has one hell of a voice, but that didn't stop his performance from lacking a shred of musical relevance. The self-proclaimed "artist" shouted his way through a straight-karaoke rendition of a 40-year-old song, leaving me (and America) with no clue as to what sound he would produce were he to record an album.
Tim Haplerin: "Streetcorner Symphony." Why would anyone ever think that this song would deliver a one-shot pass to the Idol finals? I'm honestly baffled by this choice (which is a shame, because I really want to like this Tim).
Jovany Barretto: "I'll Be." Yes, Jovany sounded (and looked) good. And as a 23-year-old who unabashadly LOVES him some Dawson's Creek era ballads (whatup Paula Cole), I still managed to HATE this performance. Complete with a 90s-diva mid-bridge key-change, Jovany failed to update this song to sound even remotely current (someone should have sat him down and made him watch David Cook's "Hello." 'Nuff Said).
Jordan Dorsey: "OMG." And I'm like, Oh My God, there's so many ways to hate you (and this performance), so I won't even bother recounting them. But can I just say-- you ultimately CHOSE this song, so why on earth did you act like someone else forced this heinous decision upon you? You're stank, jank and bank(rupt).
Predictions: So while this is how I want things to go down, my Idol instincts tell me that Casey, Jacob, Robbie, Brett and Scotty will be filling out the male Top Five on Thursday (which would leave Paul, Stefano and James to hopefully snag wildcard spots). And by the way, anyone else digging the format change? I really think it combines the best of all previous Idol semifinal worlds...
Until tomorrow,
Z
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Final Judgments
Finally, we’re at the live rounds.
I’m not sure that the jumbled addition of Beatles/Vegas week did much of anything for me (did anyone else feel blitzed by that barrage of over-propped performances?). Especially when I thought Naima and Brett were part of a massive group cut after the Producer’s Seven were anointed safe (I gasped, hand-to-heart). Luckily, I was mistaken (that was cruel, Idol).
But I did greatly prefer the spotlighted hangar walks of suspense to the ill-conceived security-camera elevator rides, or even those ridiculous mansion sing-offs. And while I did feel there was some genuine empathy emanating from the judges this year (sans Randy, duh), I was able to correctly call every single yes/no. 10 seasons later, and Idol has not mastered the art of subtlety... sigh.
Onto some thoughts on “our” Top 24 (and a few others)…
GIRLS
Lauren Turner: Diva! Werk! I feel some Kelly/Carrie/Carly/Allison/Crystal coming on with this one…not that I can ever judge a big-voiced female vocalist objectively. She'll need some work, for sure… but so did the aforementioned Idol royalty, once upon a time.
Naima Adedapo: Easily one of the most likable and deserving contestants of Idol 10, and for all the right reasons. She'll be one to watch, though at this point I must admit I remember her spirit and wardrobe more than her voice… not a great sign. Sick strut on that hangar walk though, gurl!
Lauren Alaina: Puh-lease, as if there was even a shred of doubt that Lauren would make the Top 24. What’s with all the repeat songs though, little lady? I’m not convinced there’s an artist underneath that stunning voice, but I’m more than willing to find out.
Haley Reinhart: Yes, she over-sings just about everything. But still, she has hit the Christina Aguilera-sized soft-spot in my heart for vocal diva antics. I look forward to your live belting, young madame.
Rachel Zevita: Her funky style, smoky voice and crazy falsetto have flown under the radar… until that shaky (but entertaining) take on Gaga’s “Speechless.” I’m excited to see her sing live, for perhaps she can bring the fire Siobhan never delivered last season.
Julie Zorrilla: Learn how to appear less affected and more genuine, and I will begin to love both your considerable vocal talent and on-point fashion sense (the judges were so spot on with her lack of emotion, weren’t they? How refreshing is that?)
Ashton Jones: My Lil Rounds alarm is going off for Ashton, sadly. I love her look and I love her personality, but I’m not sure her voice can withstand the inevitable black-female diva expectations. If you’re going to go toe-to-toe with the likes of Tamrya, Trenyce, Fantasia, LaToya, Jennifer, Vonzell, Melinda, Jordin & Syesha (whew!), you better BRING IT, betch.
Thia Megia: At least we have some more rainbow-themed outfits to look forward to? Because vocally, I fear there’s nothing pleasant to anticipate.
BOYS
Casey Abrams: Yes. Love. Bass! Is it just me, or is anyone else getting some serious male-Adele vibes off of Casey? OK, maybe that’s a bit of an early jump, but I think he could really have those kind of chops.
Robbie Rosen: He’s got everything it takes to win this whole damn thing, minus one mullet-esque haircut. If he can deliver even half as well as his previous showings in the live rounds, he’s a shoe-in for the Idol tour this season.
Paul McDonald: I’m not sure that I’m digging all your “look at me, I’m an original artist” affectations (cue limp T-Rex hand and offbeat wardrobe choices). But lordy, is your voice pretty.
Brett Loewenstern: “We are all shining stars.” As adorable and talented as Brett is, when he utters lines like this, totally deadpan, I fear for his ability to cope with the onslaught of opinions about to hit him. He better hope that bullet-proof vest really works…
James Durbin: Everything from his voice to his look to his backstory feels copycat to me, and no amount of Seacrest cover-up will prove what only a well-delivered performance can. And a tip? If you want to avoid Adam Lambert comparisons, don’t choose to sing the crowning jewel from Adam’s season, fool.
Clint Jun Gamboa: While I think he handled his unfair villain-label rather smartly, I didn’t find his overblown emotional reaction earnest—but here’s hoping his desire to show America what kind of “artist” he is will deliver something more interesting than a series of indiscernible vocal runs.
Jovany Barreto: Remember Jorge Nunez? David Hernandez? No? I fear that Jovany will suffer the same fate, soon enough…
Scotty McCreery: You are indeed in over your head, young one. But this is coming from a diva-loving city slicker, so Scotty’s country stylings were never going to do it for me. That being said, he’s clearly not vocally up to par with his competitors (which will do absolutely nothing to stop the hordes of tweens that will no-doubt vote for him anyway).
Jacob Lusk: I'm standing firm on this one--until this boy learns how to wield that big ol' voice of his, it will continue to feel like being hit with a blunt weapon. Currently, his singing sounds more like parody than performance, to me (as his celebratory reel demonstrates clearly)…
CANNON FODDER
Kendra Chantelle & Stefano Langone: I’m not quite sold on these two yet, though by all rights, I totally should be. Please hold.
Karen Rodriguez, Pia Toscano Tatynisa Wilson, Tim Halperin & Jordan Dorsey: Certainly not bad, but not fantastic either. This kind of mid-level performing is catnip for early public elimination (where only being memorably excellent or mind-blowingly terrible ensures a spot on the couches of safety).
THE DEARLY DEPARTED (slow Steven one-hand clap, please)
Hollie Cavanagh: As much as her departure devastates me, I can’t be mad at JLo’s commentary on her future potential—I’d much rather see her blossom later than become a mid-season castoff now (and we all know us Idol fans love a multi-year comeback. I always had your back, JHud).
Deandre Brackensick: Please make good on your vow to bring it next year. Pretty please?
She Who Shall Not Be Named: At least she managed to bow out of Idol with some surprising grace (and got someone to put a ring on all that crazy). Kudos.
Chris Medina: I didn’t have an ounce of love for his voice, and still I felt myself saddened by his elimination. Thus demonstrates the power of the American Idol dream machine--and I feel your pain, JLo. I feel it.
Jessica Cunningham: Props for knowing that your complete lack of airtime compared to Thia’s would result in an inevitable face-off cut. Hey, maybe you can snag a job as an Idol producer and construct some real suspense for us?
And on that note, I am very excited to see how the live rounds play out. Will JLo and Steven continue to be as dazzling without the power of editing? How will the Producers Pack fare in America’s hands? And will we really get to see this much-discussed (but rarely practiced) transparency the producers keep squawking about? We. Shall. See.
Best,
Z
I’m not sure that the jumbled addition of Beatles/Vegas week did much of anything for me (did anyone else feel blitzed by that barrage of over-propped performances?). Especially when I thought Naima and Brett were part of a massive group cut after the Producer’s Seven were anointed safe (I gasped, hand-to-heart). Luckily, I was mistaken (that was cruel, Idol).
But I did greatly prefer the spotlighted hangar walks of suspense to the ill-conceived security-camera elevator rides, or even those ridiculous mansion sing-offs. And while I did feel there was some genuine empathy emanating from the judges this year (sans Randy, duh), I was able to correctly call every single yes/no. 10 seasons later, and Idol has not mastered the art of subtlety... sigh.
Onto some thoughts on “our” Top 24 (and a few others)…
GIRLS
Lauren Turner: Diva! Werk! I feel some Kelly/Carrie/Carly/Allison/Crystal coming on with this one…not that I can ever judge a big-voiced female vocalist objectively. She'll need some work, for sure… but so did the aforementioned Idol royalty, once upon a time.
Naima Adedapo: Easily one of the most likable and deserving contestants of Idol 10, and for all the right reasons. She'll be one to watch, though at this point I must admit I remember her spirit and wardrobe more than her voice… not a great sign. Sick strut on that hangar walk though, gurl!
Lauren Alaina: Puh-lease, as if there was even a shred of doubt that Lauren would make the Top 24. What’s with all the repeat songs though, little lady? I’m not convinced there’s an artist underneath that stunning voice, but I’m more than willing to find out.
Haley Reinhart: Yes, she over-sings just about everything. But still, she has hit the Christina Aguilera-sized soft-spot in my heart for vocal diva antics. I look forward to your live belting, young madame.
Rachel Zevita: Her funky style, smoky voice and crazy falsetto have flown under the radar… until that shaky (but entertaining) take on Gaga’s “Speechless.” I’m excited to see her sing live, for perhaps she can bring the fire Siobhan never delivered last season.
Julie Zorrilla: Learn how to appear less affected and more genuine, and I will begin to love both your considerable vocal talent and on-point fashion sense (the judges were so spot on with her lack of emotion, weren’t they? How refreshing is that?)
Ashton Jones: My Lil Rounds alarm is going off for Ashton, sadly. I love her look and I love her personality, but I’m not sure her voice can withstand the inevitable black-female diva expectations. If you’re going to go toe-to-toe with the likes of Tamrya, Trenyce, Fantasia, LaToya, Jennifer, Vonzell, Melinda, Jordin & Syesha (whew!), you better BRING IT, betch.
Thia Megia: At least we have some more rainbow-themed outfits to look forward to? Because vocally, I fear there’s nothing pleasant to anticipate.
BOYS
Casey Abrams: Yes. Love. Bass! Is it just me, or is anyone else getting some serious male-Adele vibes off of Casey? OK, maybe that’s a bit of an early jump, but I think he could really have those kind of chops.
Robbie Rosen: He’s got everything it takes to win this whole damn thing, minus one mullet-esque haircut. If he can deliver even half as well as his previous showings in the live rounds, he’s a shoe-in for the Idol tour this season.
Paul McDonald: I’m not sure that I’m digging all your “look at me, I’m an original artist” affectations (cue limp T-Rex hand and offbeat wardrobe choices). But lordy, is your voice pretty.
Brett Loewenstern: “We are all shining stars.” As adorable and talented as Brett is, when he utters lines like this, totally deadpan, I fear for his ability to cope with the onslaught of opinions about to hit him. He better hope that bullet-proof vest really works…
James Durbin: Everything from his voice to his look to his backstory feels copycat to me, and no amount of Seacrest cover-up will prove what only a well-delivered performance can. And a tip? If you want to avoid Adam Lambert comparisons, don’t choose to sing the crowning jewel from Adam’s season, fool.
Clint Jun Gamboa: While I think he handled his unfair villain-label rather smartly, I didn’t find his overblown emotional reaction earnest—but here’s hoping his desire to show America what kind of “artist” he is will deliver something more interesting than a series of indiscernible vocal runs.
Jovany Barreto: Remember Jorge Nunez? David Hernandez? No? I fear that Jovany will suffer the same fate, soon enough…
Scotty McCreery: You are indeed in over your head, young one. But this is coming from a diva-loving city slicker, so Scotty’s country stylings were never going to do it for me. That being said, he’s clearly not vocally up to par with his competitors (which will do absolutely nothing to stop the hordes of tweens that will no-doubt vote for him anyway).
Jacob Lusk: I'm standing firm on this one--until this boy learns how to wield that big ol' voice of his, it will continue to feel like being hit with a blunt weapon. Currently, his singing sounds more like parody than performance, to me (as his celebratory reel demonstrates clearly)…
CANNON FODDER
Kendra Chantelle & Stefano Langone: I’m not quite sold on these two yet, though by all rights, I totally should be. Please hold.
Karen Rodriguez, Pia Toscano Tatynisa Wilson, Tim Halperin & Jordan Dorsey: Certainly not bad, but not fantastic either. This kind of mid-level performing is catnip for early public elimination (where only being memorably excellent or mind-blowingly terrible ensures a spot on the couches of safety).
THE DEARLY DEPARTED (slow Steven one-hand clap, please)
Hollie Cavanagh: As much as her departure devastates me, I can’t be mad at JLo’s commentary on her future potential—I’d much rather see her blossom later than become a mid-season castoff now (and we all know us Idol fans love a multi-year comeback. I always had your back, JHud).
Deandre Brackensick: Please make good on your vow to bring it next year. Pretty please?
She Who Shall Not Be Named: At least she managed to bow out of Idol with some surprising grace (and got someone to put a ring on all that crazy). Kudos.
Chris Medina: I didn’t have an ounce of love for his voice, and still I felt myself saddened by his elimination. Thus demonstrates the power of the American Idol dream machine--and I feel your pain, JLo. I feel it.
Jessica Cunningham: Props for knowing that your complete lack of airtime compared to Thia’s would result in an inevitable face-off cut. Hey, maybe you can snag a job as an Idol producer and construct some real suspense for us?
And on that note, I am very excited to see how the live rounds play out. Will JLo and Steven continue to be as dazzling without the power of editing? How will the Producers Pack fare in America’s hands? And will we really get to see this much-discussed (but rarely practiced) transparency the producers keep squawking about? We. Shall. See.
Best,
Z
Friday, February 18, 2011
Hollywood Week #3
And from your lips Idol drew the Hallelujah! This post will contain very little angry fan ranting, not because there weren't rant-worthy moments tonight (girls vs boys! unnecessary subtitled humiliation! complete lack of last night's triumphant Minor's results), but because for the first time this season, American Idol gave me something to be excited about--talented singers!! So with that thought, I will put my pinot-grigio fueled fingers to good use and talk about said talent...
The Hot
Haley Reinhart: Holy packaged artist, Batman! Complete with matching lace trim and booty heels, this little bombshell may have crammed more performance dynamics into one 30 second clip than necessary, but we all know that's what it takes to shine on a show like Idol.
Clint Jun Gamboa: Unfurled suspenders? Check. Goggle glasses? Check. Mad-crazy vocals, Dawg? Check. Villainous package complete with canned booing? Check. What do all these disparate parts add up to? An American Idol favorite, my friends.
Those Who Chose To Sing Sara Bareilles: Touche, Julie Zorrilla and Robbie Rosen, touche. I liked neither of you until tonight, when you both successfully (and rahter impressively) tackled the most underrated singer/songwriter currently out there. I'm not going to write you a love song, though.
Brett Loewenstern: You melt my little gay heart, you trendy thing you. I adore that Brandi Carlile song and I adore your perfect timing: in a media climate where Gaga is birthing a tolerant, 80s-pop loving race and Glee is making balladeers out of football bullies, you will shine.
Casey Abrams: I have to admit, I didn't get it before. I saw your early performances and thought (as Randy so eloquenty said), "Really?" But now, I GET IT. I seriously get it.
Lauren Alaina: I don't care that she's being pimped harder than one of Charlie Sheen's hookers, she's got the charm and the voice to win this whole damn thing. And I simply cannot wait to see her sing live.
The Warm
Ashton Jones: Seacrest made sure to tell us that "she truly shined," and usually that means some foul treachery is afoot. Aside from some requisite sass, I don't buy this gal's particular brand of diva-- she's like comparing my laptop speakers to a full symphony. Very few can tackle this song with appropriate meatiness, and for me, for you, Ashton didn't deliver enough delicious protein for my liking.
The Georgia Girls: In theory, I should have liked these blonde bombshells, but I think I know why I didn't: despite their obvious vocal chops, I don't think either of them had the requisite soul to pull of this jam. So I'm withholding proper judgement until both tackle some pop songs more suited to their vocal stylings.
Jacee Badeaux: Every time I hear you sing, I smile. But every time I see you, I can't help but see a lamb being led to the slaughter. It's a rather jarring experience.
Caleb Hawley, Colton Dixon, John Wayne Shulz, Stefano Langone: I'm intrigued, but I must seem more. Carry on.
Jacob Lusk: This felt to me more like some kind of muppet impersonation of an overblown American Idol audition than anything worthy of a standing ovation, right down to the snotty after-performance discharge. No doubt the boy has a hefty bag of vocal tricks, but who said he had to use a new one every few seconds? This performance was in serious need of some kind of gastric bypass surgery... take off the extra pounds, and I think there's a very promising singer under there.
The Cold
Thia Megia: "She's amazing," whispered JLo. But the only thing amazing about this soon-to-be-annoying teen is her sesame-street-inspired wardrobe. Her voice just isn't pleasant to listen to, point blank.
Chris Medina & Carson Higgins: It's my prerogative to say that you're both surviving based on anything and everything but your vocal talent.
Scotty Mcgreery: I cannot believe you were the butt of an always ill-fated Idol joke, yet still managed to survive another cut. Nuts of Wonder, indeed.
Ashley Sullivan: Idol chooses one crazy every season as potential water-cooler fodder, and every season, I choose to protest this Idol move by ignoring their existence. Hence, this will be the last time I ever discuss the girl who stole a spot from someone like Sara Sellers.
So there we have it. While this season is shaping up to potentially recapture the glory of Season 8, I'm not holding my breath just yet. Especially not when Idol is introducing some new post-Hollywood, pre-live round (complete with fancy sets and fog machines). Until next week, drop down and get your Idol on, girl.
Best,
Z
The Hot
Haley Reinhart: Holy packaged artist, Batman! Complete with matching lace trim and booty heels, this little bombshell may have crammed more performance dynamics into one 30 second clip than necessary, but we all know that's what it takes to shine on a show like Idol.
Clint Jun Gamboa: Unfurled suspenders? Check. Goggle glasses? Check. Mad-crazy vocals, Dawg? Check. Villainous package complete with canned booing? Check. What do all these disparate parts add up to? An American Idol favorite, my friends.
Those Who Chose To Sing Sara Bareilles: Touche, Julie Zorrilla and Robbie Rosen, touche. I liked neither of you until tonight, when you both successfully (and rahter impressively) tackled the most underrated singer/songwriter currently out there. I'm not going to write you a love song, though.
Brett Loewenstern: You melt my little gay heart, you trendy thing you. I adore that Brandi Carlile song and I adore your perfect timing: in a media climate where Gaga is birthing a tolerant, 80s-pop loving race and Glee is making balladeers out of football bullies, you will shine.
Casey Abrams: I have to admit, I didn't get it before. I saw your early performances and thought (as Randy so eloquenty said), "Really?" But now, I GET IT. I seriously get it.
Lauren Alaina: I don't care that she's being pimped harder than one of Charlie Sheen's hookers, she's got the charm and the voice to win this whole damn thing. And I simply cannot wait to see her sing live.
The Warm
Ashton Jones: Seacrest made sure to tell us that "she truly shined," and usually that means some foul treachery is afoot. Aside from some requisite sass, I don't buy this gal's particular brand of diva-- she's like comparing my laptop speakers to a full symphony. Very few can tackle this song with appropriate meatiness, and for me, for you, Ashton didn't deliver enough delicious protein for my liking.
The Georgia Girls: In theory, I should have liked these blonde bombshells, but I think I know why I didn't: despite their obvious vocal chops, I don't think either of them had the requisite soul to pull of this jam. So I'm withholding proper judgement until both tackle some pop songs more suited to their vocal stylings.
Jacee Badeaux: Every time I hear you sing, I smile. But every time I see you, I can't help but see a lamb being led to the slaughter. It's a rather jarring experience.
Caleb Hawley, Colton Dixon, John Wayne Shulz, Stefano Langone: I'm intrigued, but I must seem more. Carry on.
Jacob Lusk: This felt to me more like some kind of muppet impersonation of an overblown American Idol audition than anything worthy of a standing ovation, right down to the snotty after-performance discharge. No doubt the boy has a hefty bag of vocal tricks, but who said he had to use a new one every few seconds? This performance was in serious need of some kind of gastric bypass surgery... take off the extra pounds, and I think there's a very promising singer under there.
The Cold
Thia Megia: "She's amazing," whispered JLo. But the only thing amazing about this soon-to-be-annoying teen is her sesame-street-inspired wardrobe. Her voice just isn't pleasant to listen to, point blank.
Chris Medina & Carson Higgins: It's my prerogative to say that you're both surviving based on anything and everything but your vocal talent.
Scotty Mcgreery: I cannot believe you were the butt of an always ill-fated Idol joke, yet still managed to survive another cut. Nuts of Wonder, indeed.
Ashley Sullivan: Idol chooses one crazy every season as potential water-cooler fodder, and every season, I choose to protest this Idol move by ignoring their existence. Hence, this will be the last time I ever discuss the girl who stole a spot from someone like Sara Sellers.
So there we have it. While this season is shaping up to potentially recapture the glory of Season 8, I'm not holding my breath just yet. Especially not when Idol is introducing some new post-Hollywood, pre-live round (complete with fancy sets and fog machines). Until next week, drop down and get your Idol on, girl.
Best,
Z
Hollywood Week #2
Group week has come and gone, and I couldn't be happier to see it go. The mother of all contrived drama fests, group round usually tells me nothing of the future of a solo singer-- not to mention this year we had to endure an extra hour of "remember what we showed you ten minutes ago" footage. Seriously Idol, most of us loyal viewers can remember what happened 7 seasons ago with perfect clarity, so why do you assume we can't remember the stupid group drama you JUST showed us before the commercial break?
I simply cannot wait until we emerge from the overly-edited frustration-fest that is early Idol and get on to what we all really care about-- the live rounds, where no note is left behind. In the meantime, all I can bring myself to do is comment on those standouts (good and bad) from this year's regrettable groupon.
Surprise Standouts:
Four Forties: Lauren Turner's wailing ways may have been a little rough, but that kind of raw vocal muscle is the stuff of (my) Idol dreams. Run and tell your girlfriend, indeed. And Adrian Michael-- where have you been hiding, you absolute cutie. A clean-cut, likable, talented black male singer? Maybe Idol can finally get it right with these two...
The Minors (aka The Cast of Urban Glee): OK, that was kind of wrong, sorry. But these 15-16 year olds gave me some real-life New Directions vocals matched with our first truly deserved Idol-triumph moment (just substitute a confetti shower with a stage mom rush).
Hollie Cavanagh: Love you, girl. LOVE YOU. And, all irrational contestant attachments are a go.
Lara Johnston and Stevie Cain: I see flashes of a "Bette Davis Eyes"-like performances in their futures, yes I do.
Da'quela Payne and Matthew Nuss: equal parts diva, of the male and female variety. I wants more of them, Idol. I wants more.
Hit Em Up Style-- I went to Neiman Marcus on a shopping spree-a, and on the way I called Soleil and Mia. YES nonsensical rhymes. Love that song, so I will overlook the complete lack of individual vocal talent these "Hits" brought to the table.
So Disappointing Indeed
Poor Paris Tassin. She probably didn't have the vocal consistency to survive in the Idol jungle, but she was so damn likable (and well dressed). But stand strong, mama and move on (X-Factor, here she comes).
Emily Anne Reed: If you're going to cut a girl this unique, give us a single wonky note? Just one?
Devyn Rush: We feel your pain, girl. I blame the awful de-boyfriended couple girls for taking your spot (sometimes drama > vocal ability). Seriously, that blonde mess sounded HEINOUS.
Please Go Home
More Jersey Girls: I cannot remember any of their names, or more importantly, any of their voices. Next.
Four Plus One: Jordan Dorsey is almost as massively unlikable as he is forgettable. Sweet boots though, kid. Robbie Rosen, on the other hand, probably hoped the sheen from his leather vest would distract from the fact he forgot his words. Add a helping of bad end-harmony and jank audience reactions, and you get-- five Yes's? Seriously, when JLo's best critique is "you all had a chance to sing," shouldn't some No's be merited?
Rebel Star: Wrong show, ladies. I hear tryouts for Making The Band 19 are starting up-- maybe you can become marginalized by Diddy.
James Durbin: Please stop screaming and remove that bandana-tail from your behind.
Julie Zorrilla: How many poof-skirted dresses does it take to cover a stank personality and a mediocre voice? Three (and counting).
That's all I got for this (disappointing) group round. Let's hope solos have less recaps and more SINGING.
Best,
Z
I simply cannot wait until we emerge from the overly-edited frustration-fest that is early Idol and get on to what we all really care about-- the live rounds, where no note is left behind. In the meantime, all I can bring myself to do is comment on those standouts (good and bad) from this year's regrettable groupon.
Surprise Standouts:
Four Forties: Lauren Turner's wailing ways may have been a little rough, but that kind of raw vocal muscle is the stuff of (my) Idol dreams. Run and tell your girlfriend, indeed. And Adrian Michael-- where have you been hiding, you absolute cutie. A clean-cut, likable, talented black male singer? Maybe Idol can finally get it right with these two...
The Minors (aka The Cast of Urban Glee): OK, that was kind of wrong, sorry. But these 15-16 year olds gave me some real-life New Directions vocals matched with our first truly deserved Idol-triumph moment (just substitute a confetti shower with a stage mom rush).
Hollie Cavanagh: Love you, girl. LOVE YOU. And, all irrational contestant attachments are a go.
Lara Johnston and Stevie Cain: I see flashes of a "Bette Davis Eyes"-like performances in their futures, yes I do.
Da'quela Payne and Matthew Nuss: equal parts diva, of the male and female variety. I wants more of them, Idol. I wants more.
Hit Em Up Style-- I went to Neiman Marcus on a shopping spree-a, and on the way I called Soleil and Mia. YES nonsensical rhymes. Love that song, so I will overlook the complete lack of individual vocal talent these "Hits" brought to the table.
So Disappointing Indeed
Poor Paris Tassin. She probably didn't have the vocal consistency to survive in the Idol jungle, but she was so damn likable (and well dressed). But stand strong, mama and move on (X-Factor, here she comes).
Emily Anne Reed: If you're going to cut a girl this unique, give us a single wonky note? Just one?
Devyn Rush: We feel your pain, girl. I blame the awful de-boyfriended couple girls for taking your spot (sometimes drama > vocal ability). Seriously, that blonde mess sounded HEINOUS.
Please Go Home
More Jersey Girls: I cannot remember any of their names, or more importantly, any of their voices. Next.
Four Plus One: Jordan Dorsey is almost as massively unlikable as he is forgettable. Sweet boots though, kid. Robbie Rosen, on the other hand, probably hoped the sheen from his leather vest would distract from the fact he forgot his words. Add a helping of bad end-harmony and jank audience reactions, and you get-- five Yes's? Seriously, when JLo's best critique is "you all had a chance to sing," shouldn't some No's be merited?
Rebel Star: Wrong show, ladies. I hear tryouts for Making The Band 19 are starting up-- maybe you can become marginalized by Diddy.
James Durbin: Please stop screaming and remove that bandana-tail from your behind.
Julie Zorrilla: How many poof-skirted dresses does it take to cover a stank personality and a mediocre voice? Three (and counting).
That's all I got for this (disappointing) group round. Let's hope solos have less recaps and more SINGING.
Best,
Z
Season 10: Hollywood Week #1
All right, I've been gone for a minute but I'm back at the (season 10) jump-off. And I'm sticking all the way through this time, kiddies. So get ready, cuz here I come...
First of all, RIP Sarah Sellers. You will join the ranks of deserving castoffs cruelly forgotten by the Idol machine, but always remembered fondly by us hardened Idol diehards (whatup, Katelyn Epperly. Still miss you girl).
Second of all, I hate to even say this, because I have been a ridiculous Idol fan for 10 years (my fervor for the show can only be compared to the most intense of sports fans), but I think the end is near. With The X-Factor and The Voice vultures circling, I was promised transparency by my Idol producers for Season 10, but if said "transparency" just means the occasional glimpse at a recording microphone, cameraman or disgruntled P.A., or Ryan Seacrest saying we'll be "losing some of our favorites," then you have another thing coming, Idol. So far, the brand new Idol hasn't been so brand new (save for some seriously upgraded judges-- though only live-round auditions will allow them to prove their musical judging mettle).
Anyway, enough blabbering, and on to what really matters-- the TALENT.
Brett Loewenstern: I have a feeling this plucky red-head will ride a Glee-sized wave all the way through this year's Idol circus. From the moment he opened his (singing) mouth in New Orleans, I saw the stuff of Idol legend. My expert prediction: he's going to blow up, Clay Aiken style. My second expert prediction: he's going to break down, Lindsay Lohan style. If this gay seedling thinks high-school bullies are tough, wait until he meets the world's biggest bully: America.
Rachel Zenita: Great song choice, and thank god the girl wore something more memorable: though fish-netted bra tanks and front-faded jeans do not an Idol make. But sing on, girl. Sing on.
Thia Megia: Stop singing, girl, stop singing. See: Diana DeGarmo, Paris Bennett, Ramiele Malubay, Lisa Tucker and the dozens of other Idol teens who's infectious talent turned straight infectious in a matter of weeks. Also, who told you the homeless rainbow flag look was in this year?
Casey Abrams: Something before that wonky high note must have gone well, because I'm not sure where the yelps and standing ovations are coming from yet...
Victoria Huggins: The bitchy glares you received from your fellow LAX patrons says it all.
Paris Tassin: "Set it off, Paris," uttered J.Lo. And set it off she did. I understand that this Celine Dion juggernaut song reeks of pure irrelevance, but anyone who can get her diva-belt on that tight wins in my book. If you're here Paris, there's nothing I fear.
James Durbin: How many off-pitch notes can you get away with if you insert one Adam Lambert-esque wail at the end of your audition? Unlimited, apparently.
Lauren Alaina: I'm drinking the Kool-Aid on this one, because girl has simply got "it." But whether she has the experience to reign in that superbly massive voice of hers has yet to be seen. I'm praying she can, because anyone who can potentially be a hybrid of Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks is my diva wet dream.
Chris Medina: I'm cashing in for my ticket to hell on this one, but come on. Guy just isn't up to par. And the fact that Randy cut him off before he even got out a third line shows why he has made it through... (wow, I want to punch myself in the face for this one. Because I think even I'd send him through if I were on that judges panel... some backstories speak louder than voices).
Jacee Badeaux: Is he a star? No. Do I want to hear him sing in the live rounds? Yes. Will he ever recover from this experience? Probably not.
Robbie Rosen: This kid seems to be the real deal, potentially. Excited to see more (sans mullet, of course).
Hollie Cavanagh: OK, who else didn't see this one coming? Girl obviously went home and practiced her butt off (in some gold sparkly stilettos, to boot). Within two notes I became a massive fan. This marks my first unyielding and irrational attachment to a contestant (because man, do I love an underdog). Congratulations Hollie, if you ever release some kind of fantastic (or janktastic) album, you'll sell at least one...
Awkward Foursome Roomies: I couldn't care less about any of their relationship drama (or their voices, for that matter). I did love, however, that after Randy's unnecessary and socially-retarded cruelty to boyfriend Nick, J.Lo and Steven rightfully shunned him (damn, can that Jenny throw some shade, or what?). That being said, if anyone deserved the Dawg's brand of "honesty," it's Mr. I-get-by-on-my-looks.
The Encores: You are most likely going to be given 10 seconds (if you're lucky) in front of America to show what kind of artist you want to potentially be, so why on earth would you choose to repeat yourself? Oh, I know why. Your low range can't support any other song? Your insane screaming only sounds good when it's about sexy time? But damn, Jackie Wilson, you rock. Why you gotta deprive my ears of another sweet song, especially when Aretha has dozens of comparably amazing ditties? Shame on you.
Tiffany Rios: Maybe you and Tatiana Del Toro can form some kind of heinous girl-group. I hear Danity Kane has some openings (tell me are you up for the challenge, cuz these girls are damaged)
Molly Dewolf: Now we didn't get to hear you sing, but I got your back, girl. As a fellow ivy-league over-achiever, I know people will hate on you for appearing "privileged" and "spoiled." But no one gets where you are without heaping amounts of hard, hard work, no matter where you come from. And you can sing your pretty little butt off. I've already set my speed dial for you..
And thus concludes my first (but far from last) Idol rant. It's gonna be a long season...
Best,
Z
First of all, RIP Sarah Sellers. You will join the ranks of deserving castoffs cruelly forgotten by the Idol machine, but always remembered fondly by us hardened Idol diehards (whatup, Katelyn Epperly. Still miss you girl).
Second of all, I hate to even say this, because I have been a ridiculous Idol fan for 10 years (my fervor for the show can only be compared to the most intense of sports fans), but I think the end is near. With The X-Factor and The Voice vultures circling, I was promised transparency by my Idol producers for Season 10, but if said "transparency" just means the occasional glimpse at a recording microphone, cameraman or disgruntled P.A., or Ryan Seacrest saying we'll be "losing some of our favorites," then you have another thing coming, Idol. So far, the brand new Idol hasn't been so brand new (save for some seriously upgraded judges-- though only live-round auditions will allow them to prove their musical judging mettle).
Anyway, enough blabbering, and on to what really matters-- the TALENT.
Brett Loewenstern: I have a feeling this plucky red-head will ride a Glee-sized wave all the way through this year's Idol circus. From the moment he opened his (singing) mouth in New Orleans, I saw the stuff of Idol legend. My expert prediction: he's going to blow up, Clay Aiken style. My second expert prediction: he's going to break down, Lindsay Lohan style. If this gay seedling thinks high-school bullies are tough, wait until he meets the world's biggest bully: America.
Rachel Zenita: Great song choice, and thank god the girl wore something more memorable: though fish-netted bra tanks and front-faded jeans do not an Idol make. But sing on, girl. Sing on.
Thia Megia: Stop singing, girl, stop singing. See: Diana DeGarmo, Paris Bennett, Ramiele Malubay, Lisa Tucker and the dozens of other Idol teens who's infectious talent turned straight infectious in a matter of weeks. Also, who told you the homeless rainbow flag look was in this year?
Casey Abrams: Something before that wonky high note must have gone well, because I'm not sure where the yelps and standing ovations are coming from yet...
Victoria Huggins: The bitchy glares you received from your fellow LAX patrons says it all.
Paris Tassin: "Set it off, Paris," uttered J.Lo. And set it off she did. I understand that this Celine Dion juggernaut song reeks of pure irrelevance, but anyone who can get her diva-belt on that tight wins in my book. If you're here Paris, there's nothing I fear.
James Durbin: How many off-pitch notes can you get away with if you insert one Adam Lambert-esque wail at the end of your audition? Unlimited, apparently.
Lauren Alaina: I'm drinking the Kool-Aid on this one, because girl has simply got "it." But whether she has the experience to reign in that superbly massive voice of hers has yet to be seen. I'm praying she can, because anyone who can potentially be a hybrid of Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks is my diva wet dream.
Chris Medina: I'm cashing in for my ticket to hell on this one, but come on. Guy just isn't up to par. And the fact that Randy cut him off before he even got out a third line shows why he has made it through... (wow, I want to punch myself in the face for this one. Because I think even I'd send him through if I were on that judges panel... some backstories speak louder than voices).
Jacee Badeaux: Is he a star? No. Do I want to hear him sing in the live rounds? Yes. Will he ever recover from this experience? Probably not.
Robbie Rosen: This kid seems to be the real deal, potentially. Excited to see more (sans mullet, of course).
Hollie Cavanagh: OK, who else didn't see this one coming? Girl obviously went home and practiced her butt off (in some gold sparkly stilettos, to boot). Within two notes I became a massive fan. This marks my first unyielding and irrational attachment to a contestant (because man, do I love an underdog). Congratulations Hollie, if you ever release some kind of fantastic (or janktastic) album, you'll sell at least one...
Awkward Foursome Roomies: I couldn't care less about any of their relationship drama (or their voices, for that matter). I did love, however, that after Randy's unnecessary and socially-retarded cruelty to boyfriend Nick, J.Lo and Steven rightfully shunned him (damn, can that Jenny throw some shade, or what?). That being said, if anyone deserved the Dawg's brand of "honesty," it's Mr. I-get-by-on-my-looks.
The Encores: You are most likely going to be given 10 seconds (if you're lucky) in front of America to show what kind of artist you want to potentially be, so why on earth would you choose to repeat yourself? Oh, I know why. Your low range can't support any other song? Your insane screaming only sounds good when it's about sexy time? But damn, Jackie Wilson, you rock. Why you gotta deprive my ears of another sweet song, especially when Aretha has dozens of comparably amazing ditties? Shame on you.
Tiffany Rios: Maybe you and Tatiana Del Toro can form some kind of heinous girl-group. I hear Danity Kane has some openings (tell me are you up for the challenge, cuz these girls are damaged)
Molly Dewolf: Now we didn't get to hear you sing, but I got your back, girl. As a fellow ivy-league over-achiever, I know people will hate on you for appearing "privileged" and "spoiled." But no one gets where you are without heaping amounts of hard, hard work, no matter where you come from. And you can sing your pretty little butt off. I've already set my speed dial for you..
And thus concludes my first (but far from last) Idol rant. It's gonna be a long season...
Best,
Z
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